Six points up, the two point conversion was thrown out of bounds. This feels familiar again. Not a good familiar.... Not a terrible one either. It's sad but this feels normal. I wish it didn't. But hey, it's writing food. Steve is about to go through a shade of fresh hell. I digress.

I know someone is going to read this that may take this the wrong way. Please don't. This is just my place to vent. Realize that I completely understand, respect, and am happy with where we stand. You are a great friend, and I can deal with keeping it that way. As long as you are my friend, I will be happy. The only reason I am writing this is I need to let these feelings that I'm remembering out. This is my spot. If you don't want to read on, don't.

Tina was my first girlfriend. We'll say "girlfriend" because it was 5th grade. We were together for a little while. Until she dumped me for Ryan Sulzner.

Then came Amber in 7th grade. I bought her a necklace for twenty dollars for Valentines Day. She gave me a note, saying she was breaking up with me, because she liked my friend Kevin.

I met Kristine in 7th grade. Almost immediately I was crazy about her. I was shy though. I didn't tell her. I got the nerve up one day, finally, to ask her if she wanted to be my girlfriend, which ironically was the day she hooked up with my same friend, Kevin.

By the end of 7th grade, I started "dating" Michelle. We were together for most of the summer, I think. I'm not sure when we broke up, because when we got on the bus for the first day of 8th grade, she introduced me to her new boyfriend.

Still nuts about Kristine after she had broken up with Kevin, I moved in 9th grade to Lexington Ohio. That's where I met Stephanie. Stephanie was slighty insane I think. However she was my first kiss. We got together for about two months. She was with me but convinced she was in love with a guy named Anthony from Pittsburgh. That didn't work out. Everytime we were together she was like, "I called Anthony today, he's so great... yada yada yada..." That soon ended.

Then of course came Susan. Susan was great. We got along really well. I still had feelings for Kristine (who was always writing me, telling me more and more about her new boyfriends.) but I tried to bury it. Susan eventually cheated on me with my friend (now, not then) Jon Cole. She, by the way, dumped me for it. Still haven't quite figured that one out.

Susan and I eventually got back together. Things were ok, but it was kind of long distance, in that she was at Ohio State in Columbus, and I was a senior in High School still. That ended. Later I found out, almost the whole time, she was cheating on me with the drummer in my band, Eli Mitchell. They got together days after she and I broke up.

I saw Kristine in a play in Grand Rapids. Afterwards I hung out with her and her boyfriend. She later came down to Ohio to see my band play. That night I told her how I truly felt about her. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek, told me she didn't feel the same way, said she was going to go to the afterparty acting like I never said anything, and flirted with my friend Seth for the rest of the night. We were going to go to my prom. We planned it for three months. Five days before she cancelled on me, because she had to work.

So instead of going to prom with Kristine, I went with Erin who at the time was dating a guy named Nick Cain. We had fun, hung out for the rest of the summer. Halfway through, I realized how much I liked her. She realized it too. We had a bit of a fling over the summer, but then I moved up to Kalamazoo, and despite the way we felt, she told me over the phone to get over it, because she wanted to be with Nick. (They got married in October. I'm happy for the both of them.)

A couple months later, I hooked up with Laura who I think was my first true love. I'd call Kristine something else. We were together, happy, in love, for eight months. However we were together for fourteen. Over Christmas, she cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend, Victor, twice. We broke up once I found out. Laura broke my heart. I was torn up about it for a very long time. I was still attracted to her for even longer.

Then came Crystal. Crystal was one of my best friend's girlfriends. For a while I was very attracted to her. We got along great. We talked all the time after her and Mark broke up. She came up here, and we had a blast. However, she's so in love with Mark, that I never really had or will have a shot. So nevermind that.

Jackie was my next girlfriend. Just to show that I am writing of every experience I had I'm including her in this. As far as I know, she never cheated on me. There was never anyone else. For the first time in my entire life, I was with someone I was enough for. Turns out I think I was too much for her. She felt more stongly for me than I did for her, and I didn't feel it was fair to her to keep that going.

Laura moved back, and I'll admit I had a bit of a crush on her still. After Jackie and I separated, there was a little talk of us getting back together. Very little. She's "seeing" a guy named Trey now. At least that's what I think. I don't know if she knows if she's seeing him or not.

Which brings me to today. Like I said, it's sad but this feels normal. If you are still reading, it's not your fault. I said I understand, it's okay. This is just me venting. Besides, as I've learned time and time again, who knows what will happen tomorrow.

There, I feel a little better. Peace out hombres.