If You Build It, They Will Come.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Outside it's America. It's raining America.

When people say that girls mature faster than guys, I think they only mean physically, as in 8th grade when all the girls are taller than the boys. Mentally, I don't think that is the case. Not that guys mature faster necessarily, but that mental or emotional maturity is more a product of your environment. For instance, there's the whiny spoiled Beverly Hills 28 year old rich girl who thinks it's the end of the world when her bathtub is the wrong color. Then there's the 10 year old boy with the drunk mother and the abusive father who is the only one looking out for his younger sister. That kid is more mature than the Beverly Hills girl. That kid is more mature than me.

Girls are dumb. I'm going to make a movie about how girls are dumb. Not like intellectually dumb, as in less intellegent, but as in girls don't make any sense.

Why don't you just say what you mean? That's kind of the purpose of language, to convey the thoughts in your mind to people observing from outside your consciousness. If your boyfriend asks if it's cool if they hang out with the guys instead of hanging out with you, and you don't want him to, why do you say yes? Inevitably, he will take that as yes, and then when he gets home, you're all mad at him because he hung out with the guys. Why must we try to read your mind?


25 Comments:

  • A group of kids were sitting together working on something in class. One of the girls gives me this fierce look saying "BOYS DON'T LISTEN!" And really, they don't.

    I disagree about them not developing faster emotionally, I totally agree about them not making any frickin' sense. 'Cause they don't.

    By Blogger rob, at Thu Nov 18, 09:10:00 AM EST  

  • This is the thing.
    It's really dumb.
    But, if a guy asks if its cool that he hangs out with his friends, a girlfriend doesn't want to say no,because then she's 'that controlling girlfriend that wont let her boyfriend hang out with friends'. So she doesn't say no. She says yes, but she says it in such a way that you know she really means no. IT is then the guys job to figure out that she really means no and decide on his own to hang out with her. If he doesn't catch onto this, there is a world of trouble awaiting him.
    While I do think that there's something to the 'girls mature faster than guys', I guess that that is direct evidence otherwise, eh? :)

    By Blogger Laura, at Thu Nov 18, 09:36:00 AM EST  

  • The issue is not that boys are mature and girls aren't, or that girls are dumb and boys aren't. The issue is this proven fact: Women communicate differently than men. When your girlfriend says it's okay to hang out with the guys and then she gets mad at you, you missed her commuication. She didn't use language, but women rely more on unspoken commuication than men generally do. Women have intution, and they naturally tune into to non verbal cues. What needs to happen is that men should try to communicate on a broader level: understand what is being said without words (and there is a lot being said, believe me). Women should try to clarify their communication and realize that men don't look for any other message than the exact and literal words that you say. Joe: Your film should be about how guys think girls are dumb becuase they don't really try to understand them. Every guy bitches that they don't get women but I'd say they never really tried. Lots of people understand women, and it's not that hard.

    By Blogger Kristine Williams Boswell, at Thu Nov 18, 01:53:00 PM EST  

  • Sure Krissy, it's not that tough, if you're psychic. We've tried. I think what we don't understand is why you don't just say what it is you mean. That's the part we don't understand. We get that when you say you're fine, you mean you're pissed off at us. When you say it's okay, it's not at all. When you say that's a great idea, you mean your idea is better. We understand that you guys like to play these little games, we just don't understand why. That's the hard part.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Fri Nov 19, 02:24:00 AM EST  

  • Wow, Ok, hi Jo. I’m Éowyn, Kristine’s friend. Awhile back she gave me your blog site to check out. Every so often I pop in and read a little about what’s going on in your world. I’ve truly enjoyed it and I hope that someday I get the opportunity to meet you. But for now, I just have to ask… Are you serious? As I read this last post, I wondered to myself, is this guy just trying to be controversial? If so, well done. You’ve accomplished your goal most successfully. If you truly place stock in what you wrote, then you have a long journey of discovery ahead. The world is complicated. Life is complicated. Emotions are complicated. Men and Women ARE different. That’s what makes life so amazingly interesting. Think of how boring a script would be if everyone depended solely on “language” to communicate the soul. Life is about discovery. It is not all about the words that we say or the hidden agenda behind each yes or no. I don’t claim to know the meaning of life, but I do know what’s made my life interesting thus far. Discovering someone’s inner thoughts, learning to listen with more than your ears. Employing all of your senses in a relationship. Listening to the spoken and unspoken words. Feeling a heartbeat, or a heart break. Responding to a heavy breath, or no breath at all. Loving in silence. I hope I have in someway communicated my thoughts into words, I’ve never been good with the language. We aren’t dumb, we are layer upon layer of intellectually stimulating, unique and beautiful, fascinating creatures. Learn to explore what we have to offer and you will find yourself dumfounded every time. I hope you have a better day than the last, and I hope that whoever this girl is (that told you to hang with your friends) will be the one to awaken your senses and give you a peek into a larger part of life. Good night. ~Éowyn

    By Blogger Eowyn Mishawn, at Fri Nov 19, 02:56:00 AM EST  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Eowyn Mishawn, at Fri Nov 19, 02:57:00 AM EST  

  • There is no girl, I was just trying to bring up something for people to leave comments about. I think we just broke the record for comments left for the voting post.

    I think the difference between the sexes is a conversation that many people feel passionately about. Men do things a certain way and can't understand why women don't and vice versa.

    I've been posting these short little films and no one was leaving comments, so I didn't know if people were just not leaving them, or if no one was checking this site anymore. I just wanted to make sure I'm still popular.

    By the way, I hope to meet you too someday. Krissy said she told you that I want to do your script, she said you guys wanted to come to LA. If you do, I'll be shooting it in January. I'll have the days pretty soon. I gotta get to class now.

    jgp

    ps Thank you Laura for admitting it's dumb. I'm not saying it's a fault that it's dumb, we do plenty of dumb things too. Guys like lesbians... I can't explain that. There is a certain humble maturity in realizing that you as a gender are not perfect, nor are we by any means. Women and men both have faults. Playing the "guess what I'm thinking" game is in my opinion, a fault. Saying one thing and meaning another is fine, we understand you do that, but isn't it a double standard for you to then accuse us of not being honest? Not in the "why do you have lipstick on your collar" not being honest, because that's bad, but in the "don't you love it when my mom comes to visit" sense.

    Discuss. :) I want more comments.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Fri Nov 19, 12:17:00 PM EST  

  • My biggest problem is with the repeated use of the word "dumb." Just becuase you don't understand something doesn't make it "dumb." The implication in saying this is that the "female" pattern of communication is without sense or logic. Not true, you just don't understand it. And it is not impossible to understand. Maybe you have tried, but haven't succeeded yet. Change your tactics, try something else. Ask more questions or hang out with different girls. Not all women communicate in such cryptic ways. I sure as hell don't and I know lots of other women who don't either. And stop saying that it's dumb just because it doesn't make sense to you. If you don't mean "dumb" then you should say what you mean....

    By Blogger Kristine Williams Boswell, at Fri Nov 19, 09:19:00 PM EST  

  • Oh yes, and Eowyn....you rock the plasma.

    By Blogger Kristine Williams Boswell, at Fri Nov 19, 09:29:00 PM EST  

  • I mean dumb.

    However, Laura was the first person to comment with the word dumb. Laura is a woman.

    Look, all I'm saying, is that men do dumb things. We hate to replace the toilet paper, we hate asking for directions, we paint our bodies and go shirtless at sporting events where it's 20 below. These things are dumb. Not every man does this, but we stereotypically behave this way. These are dumb behaviors. Why? Because logically they don't make a lot of sense, and our reason for doing them never really justifies the means.

    Women have these same behaviors. They complain about the toilet seat being up, they say they're fine when they're really pissed off, they spend hours trying to look pretty and then get mad when a guy is looking at them. Again, STEREOTYPICALLY. Eowyn, I don't know if you do this, honestly Krissy, I don't know if you do this. Laura, I know you don't. I'm not saying every woman does this. I'm saying that both men and women do things that make no sense. Nowhere did I say that men are better or that girls are dumb... oh wait, no I did say that. What you need to wonder is, what did I MEAN when I said that.

    Be honest. If guys played this game, you'd have NO freakin' clue what our deal was. I'm not saying I can't decipher that when a girl says she's "fine" angrily, that she's angry. What I can't figure out is why you don't just say "angry." It's quicker, more to the point, and leaves less room for ambiguity which may be misinterpreted and later blow up into some big argument. Can you imagine how long a relationship would last if we just believed you we're not lying to us when you said "fine?" Isn't that kind of strange, a relationship built on the fact that we know you're always lying to us.

    And yes, this is the most amount of comments that I've gotten on this site. We're in double digits. I should write controversy more often.

    I can admit that men are dumb. We do dumb things. But we're not the only ones.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Sat Nov 20, 01:27:00 AM EST  

  • Eowyn, I hate for your first impression of me to be that I'm some kind of cocky misogynistic assclown. I'm not really. Consider this whole post an experiment in behavioral science. I love hearing people's opinions on subjects like this. But nothing personal is ever really meant. Ask Krissy, I'm really a pretty nice guy.
    :)

    I've got much more to bring to the table on male-female relationships. A lot more "discussable" ideas, but I think this will do for now.

    Please don't hate me.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Sat Nov 20, 01:34:00 AM EST  

  • Hehe, I try not to hate anyone, so you're safe there, and as far as first impressions go, I try to make mine solely on physical appearances so I can’t judge you until I meet you in person. Crap, sarcasm never comes across as good in type, I hope you can tell that I’m being a smart ass. As for the issue at hand, I could go on for hours. As you can probably tell, this is an area that I am very passionate about. But I will spare you and move on. Unless you are truly interested in what I have to say on the matter, and then you just let me know and I will give you an ear full. In the meantime, I am really glad that you are interested in our script and I would love to come out there in January, just keep us posted on the dates that you are thinking about. I am really looking forward to working with you. I just hope you are past the “girls are dumb” phase by then. Good night,
    Éowyn

    By Blogger Eowyn Mishawn, at Sat Nov 20, 02:41:00 AM EST  

  • Girls are dumb, guys are dumb, lets face it, aren't we all just really retarded?

    :)

    By Blogger Joseph, at Sat Nov 20, 02:46:00 AM EST  

  • *insert witty comment here* assclown
    girls are dumb!
    dumb da dum dum dumb
    i'm from the future! i'm your son! *smack*
    A HA HA HA HA HA
    ~DJ MRC

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Nov 20, 06:32:00 AM EST  

  • Can I ask though, are you passionate about this issue because you think we're the ones at fault, or because you don't think there is anything at all deceitful about saying "A" but meaning "B?" Again, we know you mean "B," but my question that Lola answered almost right away that I'm posing to you two is why not just say "A?" Or "eh" if you're Canadian.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Sat Nov 20, 06:49:00 PM EST  

  • I take offence as a Canadian.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Nov 20, 07:52:00 PM EST  

  • Take off, hoser.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Sat Nov 20, 08:09:00 PM EST  

  • Why? You want to know why? For a million possible different reasons. Maybe she doesn't want you to get mad at her, maybe she's trying to be considereate of what you want, maybe she feels conficted but she knows you want her to say "A" so she does, maybe she's a patholgical liar, maybe she doesn't feel she can be honest with you, maybe she thinks you know what she means, maybe she's addicted to drama, maybe she meant what she said when she said it but she changed her mind....

    All human beings are at least this complicated. It is not just a girl thing. This does not make her dumb, or you dumb: this is just the prroblem of understanding another person and you cannot say "all girls mean they're pissed when they say they're fine," or "all guys like lesbians " or "we're just all retarded (which is a cop-out)."

    You'd think a filmmaker would have a more open mind...

    But I totally agree about the Canandians.

    By Blogger Kristine Williams Boswell, at Sat Nov 20, 09:14:00 PM EST  

  • Krissy, I happen to know you were born in Calgary. Why are you slamming Canadians when you are in fact from the great white north? Is this another one of your chick tricks? You want to coax me into an "agreement" that Canada is lame, and then pull a 180 like all you women do, and call me an ass for defaming Canada?

    Guys say what they mean unless it's ABOUT women, more specifically, any type of esteem issue. I'm angry means I'm angry, whereas "no your ass looks fine in those pants" means "we're already running an hour late because you couldn't figure out which of your 200 pairs of shoes to wear." We know that if we make any suck mention of any slight imperfection you may or may not have, it blows up into this huge dramatic ordeal where you sit in your room pouting, and when we come in to apologize, you say "oh, this is just going to take some time."

    For instance, when a guy doesn't call you, it's easier for you to think he's an asshole then for him to tell you that he really didn't like you. Sure, straightforward honesty works on paper, but so does communism. It easier for you to blame us and say "men are pigs" than for you to face the idea that your jokes aren't that funny, and you're kind of smelly. We know this. That's why we do it.

    Guys though, when you aren't asking questions that you can't handle the answers to, are usually not all to cryptic. "Want to go see a movie?" means I'm asking if you'd like to go see a movie, not "I'm embarrassed to be seen in public with my girlfriend who I think is fat, and if we must go out I'd prefer it to be somewhere dark and anonymous." That's the way women think, not men. So when you inevitably read way too much into a simple statement and it blows up into a huge argument that never needed to happen only because you can't grasp the concept of simply stating what it is that you truly mean, that my friend is dumb.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Sun Nov 21, 12:21:00 AM EST  

  • Oh, so now you think I'm fat.

    Jerk.

    By Blogger Kristine Williams Boswell, at Mon Nov 22, 12:55:00 PM EST  

  • I think what he was trying to say was, "It's not the pants that make you look fat, it's your ass in the pants". But I may be misinterpreting, I never know what guys are really trying to say. hehe

    By Blogger Eowyn Mishawn, at Mon Nov 22, 09:47:00 PM EST  

  • Typical. I say all that, and all you heard is I think you're fat.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Mon Nov 22, 11:00:00 PM EST  

  • Sarah here, Joe's only friend in Ohio(he said that himself! :)) just thought I'd touch on the whole "does my ass look fat in this" comment. So how bout, if I'm trying on something for the ump-teenth time, because I want to look good for my guy, I want to know if he's gonna be like "damn my girl's hot," or "eh, sheesh, she's kinda hefty in them jeans." So, to comment on that, I WANT to know if I should change, because there's bound to be a time where I walk out of the house in something I shouldn't, because a guy didn't say "sweetie, you may wanna change" after I ask if my butt's big in my jeans. Girls and guys are completely different, there's no denying that, at all. It's just a fact that we have to go through life trying to figure each other out. If I'm angry, I'll say "angry" and not "fine." But I also don't want to say "fine" if the guy's gonna try and analyze me and think "now did she mean fine, or is she mad I went out with the guys?" We have separate lives, frickin' go out with your friends, if you want to. No one is going to stop you but your guilty conscience. As long as I can go out with my friends and not hear 20 questions when I get home, we'll all get along. And guys, if your chick gets mad because you go out, maybe that means that she doesn't have any friends. Sorry about that. Go out, have drinks with co-workers that have friends. Go to a chill bar and meet people like you who don't have friends. I'm not trying to be like all butch about this, but I agree with Joe. Girls are so confusing. 'Nuff of this, I'm going to bed. nighty night. :)

    By Blogger Sarah of Mansburg, at Tue Nov 23, 02:19:00 AM EST  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Fri Dec 03, 10:15:00 PM EST  

  • Why is it that everytime guys talk about how screwed up girls are, EVERY girl who joins the conversation starts off by saying "I'm not like that. You don't mean me."

    Do you have a vagina? Then I'm talking about you.

    By Blogger Joseph, at Fri Dec 03, 10:17:00 PM EST  

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