If You Build It, They Will Come.

Sunday, January 19, 2003

Today I sit here in front of the same screen, in the same chair, in the same basement as usual. Today I am very aware of my own skull, because it is in so much pain. Yesterday was a bizarre day from start to finish, starting with me finding a message from a very old friend that I was absolutely sure I'd never talk to again, and ending with me falling asleep in my parked car, covered in snow, in front of a video store. I was in a mood I guess, all day. I may have taken it out on some people who didn't deserve it, but I think they know me well enough to understand. But today I feel lost. Not in the "my soul is in a desolate and dark place, and unable to ever return" kind of way, but in a "I don't know where the hell I am or where I'm going, where I've been, or where I'd like to end up" kind of way. I think I need a nap, or to just chill out in front of the tv and not think for a little while. I've done too much of that in my life. As I sit here staring at the same screen in the same basement in the same town yet again, I can sum it all up in two words.

"Mother F**ker."


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