If You Build It, They Will Come.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004


Ok, so here's how this all went. We got to the Secret Stash at about 3pm. The line is around the block. Apparently people had been there since 5am, which makes no sense, as they ended up having to wait longer than everyone else seeing as the place opened at 5pm. I went with my roommate Curtis. Immediately we're in line next to "fanboy." Fanboy has apparently been to every premiere and met every famous person, ever. Right away he unloads his backpack and shows us everything. This became annoying instantaneously. He shows us all his premiere ticket stubs, which consist of "Collateral" and "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle." I stopped paying attention soon thereafter. Luckily, our friend John was in line ahead of us. We stepped up about a half hour in line and left Fanboy to annoy those poor sould around him.

At about 6:30pm we meet Shady Girl. Shady Girl USED to weigh 260 pounds. Now she's pushing 105. She had to have her lower intestines removed for some surgery, and lost a lot of weight. Shady Girl tells us she would like to exchange certain "favors" to reach the front of the line. Then her phone rings, and it's her husband. Her husband is in the military, but it's unclear if she is getting an autograph for him or for the person she's "meeting in a bed in Santa Monica."

Around 9:30, I meet Blonde Girl. Blonde Girl is actually really cute, and after I smile at her, she initiates small talk with me. We talk about the length of the line and how she didn't expect there to be this many people. Blonde Girl looks a little older than me, and I notice she's drinking a beer on the street. At this point which is about thirty seconds into our conversation, I realize Blonde Girl looks a little familiar as well. I then realized I was talking to Jen Schwalbach, Kevin Smith's wife, and she was really cool. She had dyed her hair blonde, so I didn't realize it was her, I've only seen her with dark hair.

At 9:45 we got inside, and the Secret Stash was really cool. Tons of comics and View Askew memorabilia. The Bluntman and Chronic outfits from JSBSB, Bartleby's angel wings and chestplate from Dogma, the Daredevil costume (the actual one, not the one from JSBSB), the Golgothan, tons of stuff. I got the Clerks X DVD and a Clerks movie poster, as everyone who was signing things was in Clerks. Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, and Marilyn Ghogliotti. They were all really cool too, they all let me take pictures with them, they seemed in really good spirits despite signing autographs for five hours at that point, and they all thanked us for waiting in line to see them. On the poster they all wrote something besides their names too, instead of just signing it and passing it on. I was the last one that Jeff Anderson signed, so next to his name he wrote "You Win."

I think one of the coolest parts of the night though was that I gave Kevin a copy of Twelve Page Paper, which he graciously thanked me for. Whether he watches it or not, I can now say Kevin Smith owns a copy of my work.

The other shot I got of this he was looking at me and looked slightly more enthusiastic. This one was taken by Curtis, and it was digital so it was easily uploaded, I should have the other one up here tomorrow. It's darker though, my flash didn't work, but I'll see what I can do to lighten it up.

So anyway, that was my evening with Kevin Smith. I have the poster framed now, it looks really cool.

What a day.



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