If You Build It, They Will Come.

Thursday, August 29, 2002

I am annoyed. Not about anything specific, I just feel slightly agitated. People get to me sometimes. Sometimes specific people, sometimes just people. Sometimes I wish I could talk to anyone.

Last night's post was extremely random.

There's someone I know I've wanted to smack for quite some time.

I hear myself in others, and I hate it. People will say things to me and I'll hear it and remember saying nearly the same thing, and it sucks because when it comes from someone else you realize how dumb it sounds. My roommate Jessica has this philosophy that if she likes a guy it's destined to fail. Or she says that anyway. And while this is not unsupported by any current success in love, it obviously sounds completely retarded. And I've heard myself say pretty much the same thing before. That's an interesting thought, but when you think about it from a gamblers point of view, it makes perfect sense to say that people generally don't fit together. Allow me to explain as Laura's dad would explain. With a two by two diagram that explains love.
A(-) ( 1 [A(-) B(-)] )( 2 [A(-) B(+)] )

A(+) ( 3 [A(+) B(-)] )( 4 [A(+) B(+)] )

1.) Do you have any idea how often this happens per day? Two people feel no attraction to each other. It happens at the drive thru window when she hands you your Whopper, in the mall as you pass her at the Gap. You pass litterally thousands of people who don't catch your eye everyday, and chances are they don't notice you either. Platonic friends that love never even came up with. You've got tons of people that just don't fit.

2,3.) But for some reason or another occasionally, one of you is attracted to the other. Only one of you. These are the tough ones. When you like some girl that can't even remember your name, it hurts. These are the ones you remember because it's "unfair." It's really not though, because you don't remember the times that it was the other way around. It's not your fault, it's not their fault, but it happens. I feel I'm unlucky in love because I was turned down by three girls in my life that I was absolutely crazy about. I used to think it was so unfair, as I chose not to remember the five or six girls I did the same thing to. It's not unfair, in fact I feel lucky that I've only had my heart broken as few times as I have.

4.) And this is the one that counts. And this is the one that most rarely happens. Figure it mathematically. Hypothetically, for every ten of the opposite sex there is one that you actually would like to get to know better. So there is a 9/10 chance you'll just pass by. A 1/10 chance that you'll actually like the person, and since the same rules apply to them, a 1/100 chance that you'll like each other. Love is luck. It's rare. But it's comforting, because while love is owed to no one, it is in this sense a statistical inevitability, because if I ask you to guess a number between 1 and 100 and give you all the chances you need, eventually you're going to get it. You may knock it out on the first try, it may take 100,000 tries. But statistically, it should happen.


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