If You Build It, They Will Come.

Friday, July 26, 2002

I have a new place to live... and it is good.

The Joe is going to spit out his opinions now.... enjoy.

Amelie... Was it good, was it bad...? Joe says, "Eh..." The photography was brilliant, which is also part of why I enjoyed Vanilla Sky. The screenplay was nominated for an Oscar. I can see why. I enjoyed the "he likes..." parts. Other than that... nothing special. Like I told Jon, it was cute at best. It was decent, bordering on good. Definately one to rent once. No rewatch value, there's no emotion in it. Amelie smiles. Then she smiles more. Then in one brief scene, she cries. Then it's back to Amelie smiling. She's got a great smile, but to base an entire movie on it....

That lady out in front of Planned Parenthood... Get a damn life. Seriously. I've never met you, but I know you already. You're the tye of person who has never had an original thought in your head. If I could find someone to take some pictures or film it, I'd be right out there next to you with my big "Signs Kill Trees" sign. Moron.

X-Box.... POS System. Why? Name something XB exclusive that's any good.... Halo? It'll be out for PC soon. Morrowind? Out for PC already. That leaves you with Project Gotham (Gran Turismo is better), and DOA3. And sure, DOA is cool, but Soul Calibur 2 is coming out for Gamecube soon. Everything else is on every other system. It's truly a Microsoft product, in that the first few shipments in November when it was released were full of bugs. We got three or four back before Christmas, more afterwards, KB got one back that caught fire. No joke, the XBox was smoking. It's powerful, and people hear that and think that it's the best. Of the three next gens it is the most powerful, and the heaviest. That means it's gotta be good. So ok... what are you going to do with it. No game uses that power, and there are no good games out there. You could watch DVDs, but then you have to pay $40 extra. So kids... don't get an XBox. Or at least wait until Ninja Gaiden in March. Sadly though, it's probably going to suck.

Sports Night.... Ok, I've been kind of holding back on this one. See I've got like three friends that are convinced this is the greatest show in the history of life. Everytime I ever saw it when it was on primetime, I hated it. I obviously wasn't alone, because now it's on Comedy Central at 3:30am, just a booming time slot. It does however have to compete with Insomniac Theater, and Don Lupre infomercials. This show to me is like a baseball game, leaving me frustrated thinking to myself "Just get on with it!!"

Typical normal show dialogue:

Man: Hey I think I'm going to the game tonight with Ricky instead of Todd.
Girl: Why don't you want to go with Todd?
Man: Do I need to give you a reason? I'd just rather take Ricky.
Girl: Fine, have fun.

Same typical dialogue, except on "Sports Night", whilst walking around an office looking busy....

Man: I'm going to the game tonight with Ricky.
Girl: You're going to the game tonight with Ricky?
Man: I'm going to the game tonight with Ricky.
Girl: Why are you going to the game tonight with Ricky?
Man: Because I want to go to the game tonight with Ricky.
Girl: With Ricky?
Man: With Ricky.
Girl: I thought you were going to the game tonight with Todd.
Man: No I'm not going to the game tonight with Todd.
Girl: I know, you said you were going to the game tonight with Ricky.
Man: Yeah and if I were going to the game tonight with Todd, I would've said Todd. But instead I said Ricky.
Girl: Ricky.
Man: Ricky.
Girl: What made you decide to go to the game tonight with Ricky.
Man: I'd rather go to the game tonight with Ricky, than go to the game tonight with Todd.
Girl: But why not go to the game tonight with Todd?
Man: Why not go to the game tonight with Todd?
Girl: Yes, why not go to the game tonight with Todd?
Man: I thought we established I wanted to go to the game tonight with Ricky.
Girl: Is that the only reason you don't want to go to the game tonight with Todd?
Man: Do I need to give you a reason that I don't want to go to the game tonight with Todd?
Girl: I'd like a reason why you don't want to go to the game tonight with Todd.
Man: You'd like a reason that I don't want to go to the game tonight with Todd....
Girl: I'd like a reason why you don't want to go to the game tonight with Todd.
Man: Because I'd rather go to the game tonight with Ricky.
Girl: Fine then go to the game tonight with Ricky.
Man: I will go to the game tonight with Ricky.
Girl: Have fun tonight at the game with Ricky.
Man: I will have fun tonight at the game with Ricky.


That's no exaggeration. If you read it really fast, it sounds perfect. I could've been a writer for Sports Night while it was in new episodes. Too bad I didn't think about it that week. I could hear the director now....

"We only have five minutes of content.... how do we stretch it into a 22 minute show? Make them repeat each other all the time! Good idea! Uh oh, this show only has four minutes of content... what do we do?? Uh... how about we run the opening and closing credits twice, we'll repeat them too! Great idea!"

This show is on at 3:30am for a reason.

The BK Back Porch Grillers.... Mmmm.....

otnemeM .... woN siht saw na emosewa eivom. A yllaer lanigiro aedi ot tup a nips no a lamron mlif. ekiL siht golb, lla sdrawkcab. I ylhgih dnemmocer siht eivom.

Moving.... Eh... packing sucks, but hey, its a new place. My room alone at our new place is bigger than my whole apartment.

The WWE.... Assclowns... you blew it. You were worried about your ratings on Raw, you had it fixed, and you blew it. The idea of Bischoff vs Stephanie McMahon and trading wrestlers back and forth is a safe pretend way to play the old WWF vs WCW game. It works. But come on. You had the original D Generation X back together. Shawn Michaels and Triple H. You had it. Now I guess if Michaels has found Jesus and doesn't want to swear anymore, then fine, DX is gone, but don't tease us with it. People have been waiting for that since Tyson. Then you had Triple H pedigree HBK, and I was mad. But hey, good job on getting Rey Mysterio. That dude is awesome.

That's it. I gotta go pack.


0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home