If You Build It, They Will Come.

Monday, October 07, 2002

Happiness Lies In Your Smile.

I gotta wonder, and if you don't understand why, you've got more issues than I realize. But what in the blue hell is your deal?

First off let me explain that I hate drama. Unneeded drama is why there is so much turmoil in the world. This is nothing more than unneeded drama. I'm going to explain this thing from start to finish, in hopes that either 1.) I'll see where I went so horribly wrong, or 2.) If you ever read this, you can see what a huge megabitch you're being.

I have this friend. We'll call her Ann. Ann and I have known each other since high school. During this time Ann liked me, but she never told me, nor made any indication as such. So then after high school, there were three of us, me, Ann, and our friend who we'll call Michelle. Ann, Michelle, and I were best of friends. But then, one day, Ann started dating this guy named Chris, (his name has not been changed, he's an asshole.) Once Ann and Chris started dating, and eventually became engaged, Ann stopped talking to Michelle and I. Why? Because Chris didn't want her to. Chris didn't want Ann to talk to her own brother. And even though they were all best friends, Ann turned her back on Michelle and I. Ann had issues with us, and these issues blew way the hell up. Then came the summer of 2000. This is where the story is going tostart being explained in the third person. Michelle was newly single, Ann was newly single, Joe was newly single, and all hell broke loose. They all hung out all the time, but now, they all were friends a little differently. Ann and Michelle were both pursuing Joe, and Joe was interested in both of them. Ann kissed Joe, Joe kissed Ann. Then it was determined that it wouldn't work between them. Then one day, Michelle kissed Joe, and Joe kissed Michelle. Then it was determined that it wouldn't work between them either. Much drama ensued. Joe saw how Ann and Michelle were beginning to not be friends anymore, and he decided that he better back up off of the whole situation. So Joe kissed Jenni, and Jenni kissed Joe, and then Jenni didn't call Joe anymore, but that's a different story. Eventually Joe, Michelle, and Ann all got over their crazy summer, and were all friends again. Michelle got married to Nick (his name has not been changed, he's a cool guy.) Joe and Michelle remained single. Michelle drove to see Joe in Michigan a few times, Joe never went to her house, but did go to meet her in Ypsilanti to go to a Red Wings game he got tickets for. The reason for this is simple, and I'll get to it shortly. One of these times Ann was in Michigan, they were at a party in a haunted house in Paw Paw. Ann and I were playing pool when a fight broke out, and I went to help break it up, when I got back, Ann was upset. Out of nowhere she had attacked me for "breaking her heart" in the summer of 2000. I talked to her, apologized as much as someone guilty of breaking someones heart could, and she made out with one of my friends. Fine.

The next time we saw each other, it started off all happy once again, but then Ann was upset. She continued to call me a jerk and an ass for hurting her, and she got upset with Michelle because she was still jealous of the whole thing, on top of all her unnecessary jealousy of Michelle in the first place. Then the next time Ann and I saw each other, we were all buddy buddy again. In fact we were buddy buddy enough that we kissed again. Then she left the next day and didn't call me. We didn't talk until the next time we saw each other on line, and we were talking about the last time we were together, and by the end of the conversation, she decided she'd come back to Michigan that night. We kissed a little more. This happened a couple times. She'd come to my apartment, and we'd hang out, and then we'd make out. I didn't go down to Ohio, she lived with her parents, who don't like me as it is, because I hurt her in the summer of 2000. So then one day, in the summer of 2002, Joe and Ann were in Michigan and Joe wanted to just be friends for this trip, to prove to himself and to her that they were still friends, not just a consistant string of one night stands. Ann tried to get Joe to kiss her, but he didn't, she tried, he didn't, she tried, and, well, Joe just isn't that strong. Joe was hoping to show her that he still valued her friendship and her person, not just her body. Joe had planned to watch movies together, get dinner, hang out like buds. It didn't happen that way. This was the last time that Ann ever talked to Joe.

Ann didn't call Joe, Ann didn't reply to Joe's emails, Ann didn't reply to Joe's IM's. That night in the summer of 2002, Joe and Ann stopped kissing because she felt guilty about this guy she liked. They stopped, and Joe actually encouraged her to pursue this new guy. Well she did. Ann got a new boyfriend, and suddenly didn't need to see Joe anymore. See Joe wanted to prove that them getting together was more than just a make out relationship, but apparently to Ann, that's all it was, because the second she's got a boyfriend, she doesn't need Joe anymore.

And you know what. As I write this, I realize I have been in this situation before, from her end. I acted almost the same way. So Ann, I'm sorry. I know how you feel. And I hope you realize just how extremely bad you're over-reacting in a shorter amount of time than I did. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I can only say it so many times. I want to be your friend, and if you want out of my life, then it's your choice. I feel bad, because I know how you feel. I was there and I blamed her, but it was totally not her fault. It just felt better to say it was.

I hope to see you in two weeks, in Ohio. Just me, you and Michelle again in Lexington. If not, it's your choice. I just hope you realize what you're doing.


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