I have but one enemy in this world. One arch-nemesis. And its name is Five-Thirty AM. Today, my adversary and I did battle, and the battle was fierce. The Alarm Clock, its blood red eyes, red as the fires of hell, stared upon me in the night, waiting for its moment to strike. And when the time came, strike it did, swift and terrible. Alas, while the battle with Alarm Clock was short, it was only then that the devilish Five-Thirty AM made its prescence known, as it beat down upon me with the ferociousness of lions. I lost consciousness, dropped into a weakened state, unable to combat my enemy, and in this state, exactly nine minutes later, Alarm Clock made its second attack. Weary, beaten, I lunged at Alarm Clock, and in the confusing darkness, smote him. Five-Thirty AM was still here, its arms around me, squeezing all the enegry and life from my cold weak body. It surrounded me in the darkness, I inhaled it and choked, I stood upon it with weary legs, ready to succumb to its malicious attack at any moment. But lo, I would not surrender. I would not fail or falter, as I stood my ground and fought off Five-Thirty AM's grip with every fiber of my being. And, lo, I came out victorious over mine enemy, though the war has left me weakened, and not without casualty. My clear mind and cheerful demeanor hath fallen upon the sword of the cursed beast and were lost to me. But, friends, this will be a day to remember. The day when one man refused to back down. When one man fought the battle of his lifetime against an invisible assailant, and when the war was over, stood over his rival in victory. This is the day where it was most certainly proven that there is no man taller than the last man standing. This is the day whe -- aw screw it, I'm going back to bed.