If You Build It, They Will Come.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Oompa Loompa Doompety Don't.

Anybody ever see the film Fear Dot Com? I have.


It was a long time ago, probably back in the days of the 1530K Bad Movie Nights. I'm not really sure why it popped into my head, but it did.

Again, unfortunately.

Right now I'm watching MST3K, and after watching Blood Gnome last week, I've decided to make a point that I think needs to be made after a discussion about Uwe Boll.

In Hollywood terms, there's no such thing as a good movie or a bad movie. There's profitable and not profitable.

Like or hate Napoleon Dynamite, it was a success. Like or hate House of the Dead, it sucked, but I bought it.

Sadly movies have stopped being art and since Star Wars or Jaws, become get rich quick schemes for investors. What those investors don't understand is the concept of the art of film. It's like left vs right brained people I guess.

What happens is a film does well, and investors who didn't get in on it want to repeat it. So they look at what they think made the movie good, and repeat it in another film. The problem is, these people don't actually understand what made the movie good, because they honestly don't care.

Terminator 2 does well, then come 100 movies with amazing special effects, reminiscent of Robert Patrick's T-1000. 99 of them suck because execs don't realize that the story, the characters and the action were also extremely important in the success of the film.

The Matrix comes out, then come 200 movies with wire fighting and bullet time shots. 199 of them suck, because execs didn't realize that it was the story, the philosphy, the originality were what made it so popular.

Then there was X-Men. Big hit, because people love the X-Men. Then comes Spiderman (also good), then Daredevil, Elektra, the Hulk, Catwoman, Fantastic 4, Hellboy, Batman Begins, X-Men 2, Spiderman 2, Men In Black 2, Blade 2, Blade Trinity, Sin City, Punisher....

The old TV show remakes... I can't even REMEMBER which one of these was good. Brady Bunch, Scooby Doo, Starsky and Hutch, Charlie's Angels, Dukes of Hazzard, Flintstones....

The old Movie Remakes... War of the Worlds, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Oceans 11 (then Oceans 12), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... the point is.....

Lack of originality and raising cost of movies is the reason Hollywood's profits are continuously dropping, and why indy film (Jared Hess's Napoleon Dynamite, Richard Kelly's Donnie Darko) and artistic films (Focus's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Miramax's Finding Neverland) are doing so well.

However, all these remakes, all this cookie cutter junk coming out of Hollywood IS still making money, and so it will keep coming. Original stuff, like Carnivàle or Push, Nevada will get shot down by studios before it gets it's legs under it.

The point is, 95% of movies that come out suck. Of those 95%, you've only heard of 10% of them. For example, before reading this blog, had you ever heard of Blood Gnome?



  • I saw Fear.com when it was in the theater. I was more horrified that I had to PAY to see that movie than I was of the movie itself.

    By Blogger Jack, at Wed Jul 13, 07:53:00 AM EDT  

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