We are but 19 and 20. But what is the age limit for love? Is it exclusive to those 25 and up only? Do you need to get a love license? :)
With Krissy I would've married her. Easily. In fact, I couldn't imagine what my life would be if I didn't. I imagined our lives together. I imagined that look she always flashed me, but I imagined it staying on her face. You'd be surprised. I used to get so nervous around her it would make me feel sick. If you ever meet Mark Abrams or Brian Atkinson, hell any of the Atkinsons, if you ever meet Erin Stotts (soon to be Erin Cain) they'll tell you. This was no sisterly love. So much so that in six years of being dogged by this chick, I still never let go. I never gave up. And to be completely honest, I still think about her and wonder if she saw me again, if it would ever work out. I still have her picture in my wallet. It's acting more as a reminder of what I took from our "relationship," but it's still a pretty damn cool picture. The feelings I had for her... If that wasn't real love, then I couldn't handle real love.
I didn't mean to come off as preachy in my last post. If I did, I apologize. I'm not telling you to fall in love. You can't just do it. But if it happens, don't fight it.
I could talk about my second love, Laura. I won't go as deeply into it, but here's the summed up version. We were together for a little over a year, although it should've been a lot less than that. It was almost like we put off breaking up. But she was the first girl that said "I love you, too." All the crap that we went through, that we put each other through, in those last six or eight months of our realtionship, to me, was worth all the good stuff in the first six months of it. I have never, ever in my life, been as happy as I was in that time. Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough to last, and eventually it withered away, but it was wonderful while it lasted. And now she's one of my best friends, we talk a lot, we get along. It's cool. It was the getting over her that was toughest, but I did it, and now I feel great.
There are many aspects of your statements that I do agree with though Jackie. First of all, love is co-dependent, it has to be, or else it withers or never starts in the first place. I also believe that the full effects of a working loving relationship are felt later in life. You know, the stuff that brings you closer, like marriage, children, etc. But that doesn't mean love can't start in 7th grade. (BTW, I didn't actually think I loved her until sophmore year, when I started dating this other girl, who, pardon my analogy here Susan, if you ever read this, its nothing personal, was the black and white television.) Erin is getting married, to a man shes been with for four years, and she just turned 22 in February. My parents were married at 18, and are now about to turn 40. (Yeah, they're young, I know) I've seen them together, and they are still very much in love. They knew then. They knew each other since they were 5.
See I think it's hard to tell the difference between a big crush and love. A big crush is infatuation, it's thinking that this person you want is so cool, and you want to hang out with them because of it. You want to be seen with them. Love is actually caring about how that person feels. Love is not caring what others think, not caring who is seeing the two of you together. Love is being there, through the worst of it. Sticking it out through the toughest of times. Love is knowing what to say, what to do. Love is doing something for someone not because you expect anything in return, but because you know it will make the other person smile. And that is worth it. See I don't think anyone has really been in love with me. Not even Laura when she said it. I believed it then, but now I think she just had a big crush on me. That sounds so juvenile, but so did a lot of our relationship. I've been in love though. I know that. With Krissy, I think I had a big crush on her, and I fell in love witht he person I thought she was. With Laura, I fell for her hard. I would've married her too. Eventually. (funny story about that... ask me or her about it someday.)
I believe in fate too. I believe everything happens for a reason. But I don't think that love is how it is in the storybooks or in movies. Like I said, your first love is hardly ever your last. If it is, congrats, because you got a great deal. But for the rest of us, it takes a little down to make you realize how up you get. And personally I think it's better that way. Breaking up a love is tough, but you can get over it. Laura took me about a year to get over, (for other reasons). I mean there's a difference between love and a loving relationship. One takes one person, the other takes two.
Someday Jackie, if you're lucky, I'll let you read the 12 pages of notebook paper I spilled my guts onto about Krissy. If you're lucky. No one but me has ever read it. Who knows, you may be the first.
The funny thing is, you called my view on love optimistic. Right now it is. Scan down this page a little further, and you'll read my analogy of love and herion addiction. Slightly less optimistic, I'd say.
With Krissy I would've married her. Easily. In fact, I couldn't imagine what my life would be if I didn't. I imagined our lives together. I imagined that look she always flashed me, but I imagined it staying on her face. You'd be surprised. I used to get so nervous around her it would make me feel sick. If you ever meet Mark Abrams or Brian Atkinson, hell any of the Atkinsons, if you ever meet Erin Stotts (soon to be Erin Cain) they'll tell you. This was no sisterly love. So much so that in six years of being dogged by this chick, I still never let go. I never gave up. And to be completely honest, I still think about her and wonder if she saw me again, if it would ever work out. I still have her picture in my wallet. It's acting more as a reminder of what I took from our "relationship," but it's still a pretty damn cool picture. The feelings I had for her... If that wasn't real love, then I couldn't handle real love.
I didn't mean to come off as preachy in my last post. If I did, I apologize. I'm not telling you to fall in love. You can't just do it. But if it happens, don't fight it.
I could talk about my second love, Laura. I won't go as deeply into it, but here's the summed up version. We were together for a little over a year, although it should've been a lot less than that. It was almost like we put off breaking up. But she was the first girl that said "I love you, too." All the crap that we went through, that we put each other through, in those last six or eight months of our realtionship, to me, was worth all the good stuff in the first six months of it. I have never, ever in my life, been as happy as I was in that time. Unfortunately, it wasn't strong enough to last, and eventually it withered away, but it was wonderful while it lasted. And now she's one of my best friends, we talk a lot, we get along. It's cool. It was the getting over her that was toughest, but I did it, and now I feel great.
There are many aspects of your statements that I do agree with though Jackie. First of all, love is co-dependent, it has to be, or else it withers or never starts in the first place. I also believe that the full effects of a working loving relationship are felt later in life. You know, the stuff that brings you closer, like marriage, children, etc. But that doesn't mean love can't start in 7th grade. (BTW, I didn't actually think I loved her until sophmore year, when I started dating this other girl, who, pardon my analogy here Susan, if you ever read this, its nothing personal, was the black and white television.) Erin is getting married, to a man shes been with for four years, and she just turned 22 in February. My parents were married at 18, and are now about to turn 40. (Yeah, they're young, I know) I've seen them together, and they are still very much in love. They knew then. They knew each other since they were 5.
See I think it's hard to tell the difference between a big crush and love. A big crush is infatuation, it's thinking that this person you want is so cool, and you want to hang out with them because of it. You want to be seen with them. Love is actually caring about how that person feels. Love is not caring what others think, not caring who is seeing the two of you together. Love is being there, through the worst of it. Sticking it out through the toughest of times. Love is knowing what to say, what to do. Love is doing something for someone not because you expect anything in return, but because you know it will make the other person smile. And that is worth it. See I don't think anyone has really been in love with me. Not even Laura when she said it. I believed it then, but now I think she just had a big crush on me. That sounds so juvenile, but so did a lot of our relationship. I've been in love though. I know that. With Krissy, I think I had a big crush on her, and I fell in love witht he person I thought she was. With Laura, I fell for her hard. I would've married her too. Eventually. (funny story about that... ask me or her about it someday.)
I believe in fate too. I believe everything happens for a reason. But I don't think that love is how it is in the storybooks or in movies. Like I said, your first love is hardly ever your last. If it is, congrats, because you got a great deal. But for the rest of us, it takes a little down to make you realize how up you get. And personally I think it's better that way. Breaking up a love is tough, but you can get over it. Laura took me about a year to get over, (for other reasons). I mean there's a difference between love and a loving relationship. One takes one person, the other takes two.
Someday Jackie, if you're lucky, I'll let you read the 12 pages of notebook paper I spilled my guts onto about Krissy. If you're lucky. No one but me has ever read it. Who knows, you may be the first.
The funny thing is, you called my view on love optimistic. Right now it is. Scan down this page a little further, and you'll read my analogy of love and herion addiction. Slightly less optimistic, I'd say.
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