I woke up crying this morning. I think that this was the first time I've ever had that happen. I had the strangest dream.

It was the future, I think. I was in a war, in a place like the last scenes from Aliens that we called "the basement." I was watching my fellow soldiers get hit all around me. I was very calm though. I was filling out a survey in the trenches, a psych exam they give the new soldiers. Next to me was a man that I was very close to. He was my friend. He saw me and he knew what I was about to do. I think I've had this dream before. I was about to die. I was about to drop my gun and stand up out of the trench and get killed, because I couldn't take it anymore. He watched me fill out all the answers to this survey about how desperate I was to get out of the basement. He took my pencil and started filling out his answers next to mine. There were explosions all around me and people screaming. The last question was, "How badly do you want to not be here." I wrote 10 and set down my gun. He stopped me and asked me to write one more question. He told me to write, "Is the basement hell?" So I did, and after it I wrote yes. He took my pencil and wrote no. Then he wrote "Joseph" and circled it. In my dream I started to cry, I knew he meant that he needed me there, that I was helping him feel normal after all the fighting. It made me realize how important I was to him and the other soldiers there. He said "If you're gone, that's one less thing for us to live for." I my dream the tears were streaming down my face, and that's when I woke up with tears streaming down my face.

I have to say, in the last couple days I have had the weirdest dreams.

By the way, tuesday was great.