R . A . N . D . O . M . N . E . S . S

1. The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with them.
2. Many people, when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole.
3. A weak mind is like a microscope. It magnifies trifling things, but cannot receive great ones.
4. The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
5. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.
6. Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
7. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
8. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
9. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..
10. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets.
11. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
12. Defeat isn't bitter if you sprinkle dirty revenge on it.
13. Two words: Catapulting Teacups.
14. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
15. Criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
16. Chaos, panic, and disorder... My work here is done.
17. Fear not that your life will end soon. Oops, wait.. you didn't hear that from me.
18. I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.
19. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
20. There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives.
21. I can be one of those bad things that happens to bad people.
22. If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now.
23. Football combines the two worst things about American life. It is violence, punctuated by committee meetings.
24. When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
25. Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

"The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes."
-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle