If You Build It, They Will Come.

Friday, May 24, 2002

Two quick things before I get started. One. Resident Evil is the most beautiful looking game I have ever seen. And two, since checking it out from work three days ago, I have had dreams about zombies every single night. Get this one.

I start out in the country. I believe this is somewhere around Mansfield. I'm out by this trailer. Two people live here. A man and a woman. I think the man is Rick Moranis, though I don't recall seeing him. The woman is Gillian Anderson. I love dreaming about Gillian Anderson.

Anyway, I start running through a field towards the trailer. They're out there. In the field. It's too dark, I can't see them. I know there are dogs, I can hear them, but they sound like the are all around. The trailer is still far away and I feel like they are getting closer. As I'm getting closer and closer, the zombies are drawing nearer and nearer, I realize I won't be safe in the trailer either. I do know I'll be safer there than out in this field, and once I get there I can re-think things. As I'm running I feel something graze my shoulder, like a hand. I instinctively dodge and simultanously realize just how close they are. But I'm about a hundred feet from the trailer. I finally make it.

I knock open the door and startle Gillian. She recognizes me, apparently we're friends. Rick is in the front of the trailer. I'm completely out of breath. I can't talk, I just try pointing to the bathroom. It's the only hiding place in the trailer. My only hope is that they just won't come in, and if we're perfectly still they won't notice us and move on. I finally get my breath back, Rick goes outside to look around. He's a dead man. Gillian and I go into the bathroom, which is big enough to barely hold us both. I'm whispering to her, "Don't move, breath light." She's squirming. I try looking at her trying to get across that we're dead if she keeps moving, because things are squeaking and creaking when she moves, so finally she sits still. But then she remembers that Rick left the front door open, so she goes out and closes it, in full view of two zombies.

I realize we're now going to die.

I can hear the zombies outside. They're talking. Someone mentions that we're in the bathroom. Yeah, we're dead. So I tell her we need to run. I'd go one way, she'd go another. So we both burst through the door and take off. They see us and run after. These zombies don't stumble around like in Thriller. They can haul ass. I'm running and running again. I look back to see Gillian has been tackled. She's gone. I keep going when I realize I'm in the backyard of my house in Grandville. I'm heading towards the hill and they are getiing closer again, when suddenly the FBI is there. They jump up behind our fence and draw their guns. I dive to the ground and they open fire and wipe the zombies behind me. I roll to behind them and turn around and look for the first time, and there are about fifty zombies back there. And suddenly it's like a ground war. A mixture of people, guns blazing, people being eaten. And a completely redneck family comes out of my old house and starts fighting zombies, but they really don't stand a chance. I run through the fighting and go into my garage. There's a shotgun in there. And a station wagon. Jen is in the station wagon. I tell Jen to wait there, and that I'll be back in a minute. I take the shotgun and step out of the front of the garage and take out a few zombies. But now some of the zombies are wearing FBI clothes and bulletproof vests. So crap. I take off a few zombie heads before hopping in the station wagon with Jen who is just hysterical with fright. I drop the shotgun in the passenger seat and step on the gas. And now I'm back in Mansfield. Going through downtown Mansfield, I can't control the station wagon. The brakes are bad, the steering is shot, I'm all over the road. I'm passing cops all over. And I'm really nervous because I can't control the car and there's a loaded shotgun in the front seat. If I get stopped I in boo koo trouble. So I pass cop after cop and I don't get stopped. And then there's a traffic light out. Cops all over it waving people through. Somehow I make it through that and don't get stopped either.

So I make it back to my apartment, which is much bigger than it is now. Jen and I go up and sit down. I make her up a bed and a few other friends are there too. Suddenly there's a call on the phone. I take it on my alarm clock. My alarm clock somehow doubles as a two way radio. Whoever is on the other end wants me to bring Jen back. Jen doesn't want to go back. They sound human. They really want me to bring her back though, so I don't trust them. Neither does Jen. So I'm like. "Why don't you come and get her, I just drove that whole way, I don't want to do it again." There's a pause and a girls voice comes back. "You're retarded. You look retarded." I just laughed. I was like "That's the best you can come up with? Well then you're a stupid head." And I lauhed at them. Then my alarm clock started playing some song that I know, but as I type this cannot remember. I was like, "What band is this?" Jen said "C&C Music Factory."

Then I woke up and realized I didn't have to drive Jen home.


Post a Comment

<< Home