If You Build It, They Will Come.

Sunday, October 13, 2002

This was just on SNL.

"Saddham, America is pissed off. Maybe not at you... but you'll do."

Now enjoy this metaphor....

Once upon a time there was this man. This man's name was Bill. Bill was a smoker. He wanted to quit. So he threw away his pack and decided he was done. But then he started getting antsy. He wanted a cigarette. But he didn't want it that badly, he was just bored. But then he saw a news report about how smoking cigarettes becomes addictive, and it's very hard to quit. He hears this and decides, "I went for two weeks without a cigarette, and because it's addictive, and very hard to quit, I think half-assing my quitting is still respectable, because of how hard it is." So then he gets lung cancer and dies.

Then there was Ralph. Ralph was a smoker too. He heard the same report while he was trying to quit. And he knew this guy, Bill, from work who tried to quit, and couldn't do it because it was too hard. But Ralph decided not to believe the hype that was self destructing all those who believed it. He decided that a chemical addiction to nicotine only lasts three days, and once you've gone without a cigarette for three days, you are no longer physically addicted. After that, it's all in your mind. Ralph beats his cigarette habit and lives a long healthy life.

MORAL: Everyone has problems. Everyone has hardships. And cruelest of all, everyone has hype. Everyone is told they can't do something because of how hard it is for someone like them to do it. Someone has tried something, failed, and told someone else that they can't do it because they are too old, too young, too tall, too short, too white, too black, too whatever. But Spud Webb played in the NBA, Eminem is a famous rapper, Tiger Woods plays in the PGA. I'm sure people told Spud he was too short. I'm sure people ignored Eminem and Tiger because of their skin color. There's always hype, and too many people choose to buy it, not enough choose to beat it. Too many people think, "Well, I guess I did a respectable job, considering I'm...."

I just read something that says people are not responsible for their economic status. Look at me. I went to a white trash high school in BFE Ohio. I work at a mall, I'm not taking classes currently. I'm about $1200 in credit card debt, I get paid, but all my money goes to bills. I haven't bought groceries in a month. I always spend the last four days before pay day strecthing $12, budgeting myself $3 a day. I took classes at WMU, but I failed a ton of them, and decided to take some time off to reconsider my life. I live off popcorn, leftover pizza, and dollar store Ritz Bitz crackers. Do I blame the fact that I'm a college student for my economic misfortune? Do I blame the government? Do I blame the crap ass high school? Do I blame my job? Do I blame it on the fact that I'm a white 22 year old male? Do I blame it on the fact that I'm not the biggest ball of beauty or talent that ever existed? No, I blame it on me. I blame it on the fact that I decided to go out to Friday's last night, or to buy that video game last week. I blame it on the fact that I've settled in to working at a video game store, and I've accepted what they gave me. I blame it on my choices. Other people can influence you. Your parents can get divorced, and you can be a little upset about it, and then you hear how it's completely screwed up someone elses life, and you say, "Here's my excuse." So you cut class, and you decide "I don't want to go along anymore, because my parents split up." And you use it to your adavantage so that you don't have to try anymore. OR you can say, "I'm not going to let this thing destroy my life. I'm not going to let the fact that my parents are divorced, or that I'm latino or that I'm gay or that I'm rich or poor or fat or old or short or white or black or quitting smoking is hard or I'm sick or I don't have a leg be my excuse for not giving my life everything I have to give it." I'm a 22 year old white male. Will I ever be a famous rapper? I pretty much have the deck stacked against me don't I? So I have an idea, why don't I just give up. Because I believe the deck is stacked against me, because other bad white rappers have said it's too hard. I want to be a famous actor. So does a lot of people. A lot of people say, "Oh it's too hard." That's because they suck at acting. That's because they tried out and lost once. That's because it helps them sleep better at night if they say, "It's not my fault, it's Hollywood." Or "it's society." Or "it's the man." I'm not doubting at all that there are some hardcore ignorant ass racist bastards out there. But some people believe there is racism where there isn't. I work at Babbages. There is one black guy there. Charles. Charles is awesome. All the rest of us are dorky white guys. Some could call this racist. It isn't. Charles also works at Marshall Fields. He dresses nice, he's polite, courteous, knows the products we sell, is great with customers, and is a very fun guy. The other day, a black kid came in dressed in huge baggy clothes, reeking of weed, and while I was with a customer interrupted me by yelling, "Hey!" and I'm like, "yes?" He says, "Is y'all hiring?" I gave him an application, he took it, filled it out, gave it back. We won't hire him. Is it because he was black? No. It's because he was rude, smelled like pot, and didn't have the notion to try to make a good first impression by dressing up or taking a shower. I don't care what color you are, if you want to work retail, you don't do that. Now is that all black people? No. Not by a long shot. This was one black person. Actually in all the time I've been taking applications, it's been about seven. Do I judge people based on their skin color, no. Hell, I don't even see skin color anymore. I see smart, and I see dumb. But if that kid goes home and says, "Well, at least I got the app turned in and they took it, that's pretty good considering I'm black trying to work at a store with all white guys." then he's only adding to the problem. Like Bill.

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