If You Build It, They Will Come.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

To me sister, it seems sad that you feel it's easier to pretend I don't exist, rather than deal with me. This is your fault now. I want to patch things up. I want to talk through this. You on the other hand are trying hard to convince yourself that since you're now with your new guy, that everything before never happened. I'm part of your past. I used to be your friend. Call me callous and vain, but it's your fault that we're not friends anymore. I want that back. But this is the second time this has happened between us. I'm starting to wonder why I even care.

Not that you care. You like to run. I'm upset. No, I'm really fucking pissed. We were pals through a lot. For a long time. And one day your write me an four line email saying that you don't want to talk to me ever again. You throw it all out, like that. If that's all I ever meant to you, if I'm that easy to toss away, then fine. Screw you. I misread you. I thought you were better than that.

We had our shit. We had our rough patches. And yeah, I deserved some of what you threw at me. But this is too much. Look at yourself and tell me how good of a friend I am. At least when I got a girlfriend I didn't do everything I could to kick you out of my life. Twice now. Don't tell me that's not what's happening. You think I'm not listening. In one ear, out the other, right? I don't accept what it is that you're saying. I don't buy the reasons you've given me for shutting me out. Especially because this is the seond time you've done it.

Why do I care? Why am I even trying with you anymore? It's been two years since you've talked to me, my life has been okay. I miss you, but I've been okay. So why do I care?

Maybe to me you're not just some girl I knew from high school. Maybe you're becoming that, though. Some girl I knew from high school that flaked out and thought she was above me. Fine. Be that way.

I hope you're happy. I really hope you are. But if you keep this shit up, you're going to be very, very lonely.


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