Crack that whip...

Every so often you come across these guys, and you just want to slap them.

To once again quote Ferris Bueller: "Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work."

When Brittany finally dumps Jeff for being way to clingy and weird, either Jeff kills himself, or Jeff kills her. That's my guess. Kind of dark. Maybe Jeff will just drop out of college and sit in his parents basement smoking pot and listening to Morrisey records and crying until his abs burn every day, until his parents finally kick him out, and he becomes homeless. While it sounds nicer, I'm still betting someone dies.

Now, I'm not calling the kettle black here. Yeah, I fall in love quickly too, but not very often. I'm almost 25, and I would say I've been in love maybe three times, but more likely two, and the first began around 14 years old. I get really attracted to people easily, but I do have pretty high standards. Girls in my entire life I've been interested in... hold on, I'll count.... Krissy, Stephanie S., Susan, Erin S., Tera, Jennie, Stephanie W., Rayna, Laura, Erin B., Jackie, Marcy, Crystal, Sarah, Meg, Rochelle... sixteen or so. In love? Twice. Websites made about how much I love them this week: Zero.

-j