I have this friend... His name is Jon. Not Nopa, different Jon. He lives in Ohio. I recently found his website, which is pretty cool. In it he has his "school of how to treat girls." Here are his ten rules...
1. Girls are princesses. If there is any girl you do not consider to be a princess, stay the heck away from her.
2. Key in on what they like. Wear their favorite cologne or their favorite color from time to time.
3. Open every door possible for them. This includes car doors.
4. Listen to them. Don't just hear what they have to say.
5. Be sensitive to not only their likes, but their dislikes. If they don't like what's playing on your car stereo, let them change it. Let them control the temperature in the car. You will live. Trust me. :-)
6. Be honest with them. If they are going to like you for you, then start things out right. You'll only hurt them if you aren't truthful.
7. If you take a girl out to eat, pick up the tab.
8. Never, ever, EVER tell a girl she is ugly and/or fat. You idiots that do that sort of thing are the reason that a lot of girls get into depression or eating disorders. Girls are extremely sensitive to what is said to them and about them.
9. Do not be one of those guys who use my advice just to "get some". Girls are worth so much more than that. Don't be trash.
10. Use common sense. That will take care of 90% of your questions on what to do to treat a girl right.
Oh my friend... I used to think like you.... But now I see that this is really "The School of How to Let Girls Walk All Over You." I am not bitter. I am not angry with women at this moment. Some of this is really good advise. Like #6, but only when it doesn't affect #8. But... 1, 2, 3, 5, and 7... I gotta say no. Follow those and you may proceed directly to whipped. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. See, Dex, a good relationship is one where that stuff doesn't matter anymore. A good relationship is where you can object to her changing the radio station, and not worry that it will cause a problem in your realtionship. A good realtionship is where you follow #6 and start things out right. If you let them walk all over you in the beginning, they will expect it for the rest of your time together. So then either (a) you let them walk all over you for the rest of the time, or (b) you stop and suddenly you aren't who they thought you were from the beginning. A relationship is about being honest with the person you are with, yes, but it is also about being honest with yourself. If it really bugs you that she wants to change the station, and you assert that, then you are being honest. If she doesn't want to be with you because you dig polka and can't stop listening to it, then you'll find out early that it's not meant to be. Trust me, early is better.
And for the record... women are not princesses. Women are humans. Just like men. We are not below them, nor are they below us. The instant you start acting like they are better than you is the instant they smell fresh blood in the water. (Not all women are sharks either, it's an analogy.) Not all women are class acts. Not all women are perfect. Not all women are deep and caring. All women are human. They can be just as shallow as us, and for the most part, they are. That's the deal with why we can't understand each other. See, we can, we just don't want to believe we can. Men know how shallow they can be, and don't want to believe that women can think the same way, but they do. Women know how shallow they can be and don't want to think men can think the same way, but we do. When women ditch men because they have a stupid laugh, and then wonder why they got stood up, no one wants to tell her it's because she smells like soup, and she can't believe that men could be that shallow. Or vice versa. But women are not princesses anymore than men are princes. And sure, you can get someone to like you because you treat them like a princess, but you can't get someone to love you for it. You get someone to love you for all the other stuff, all the little idiosyncracies that make up who you are. These are not things like holding doors and paying for dinner because it's the way to treat girls. This is like opening doors and paying for dinner because you genuinely want to. This is how you act around kids, this is how passionate you can be. This is all the stuff that people discover about you when you aren't trying to show it to them. This is the stuff that happens when you aren't trying to impress them by being a good guy. And you can't fake that, no matter how many bills you pick up, or doors you open. No matter how many times you let them play with the radio, or wear their favorite cologne. No matter how many times you tell them how beautiful they are or make them laugh, if they aren't attracted to what's under all the chivalry, it's not going to happen. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, it just means you don't match, no matter how badly you want to. If the key doesn't fit the lock, it's not going to work, no matter how much you dress up the key. (not a sexual analogy, grow up.) This goes for both sides. I've been in love, and it wasn't there for them. I've had people be in love with me, and it wasn't there for me. No amount of grace or generousity, chivalry or ass-kissing will ever change that. It just has to fit.
I do agree with one thing though, Jon. Whatever you do, don't be trash.
1. Girls are princesses. If there is any girl you do not consider to be a princess, stay the heck away from her.
2. Key in on what they like. Wear their favorite cologne or their favorite color from time to time.
3. Open every door possible for them. This includes car doors.
4. Listen to them. Don't just hear what they have to say.
5. Be sensitive to not only their likes, but their dislikes. If they don't like what's playing on your car stereo, let them change it. Let them control the temperature in the car. You will live. Trust me. :-)
6. Be honest with them. If they are going to like you for you, then start things out right. You'll only hurt them if you aren't truthful.
7. If you take a girl out to eat, pick up the tab.
8. Never, ever, EVER tell a girl she is ugly and/or fat. You idiots that do that sort of thing are the reason that a lot of girls get into depression or eating disorders. Girls are extremely sensitive to what is said to them and about them.
9. Do not be one of those guys who use my advice just to "get some". Girls are worth so much more than that. Don't be trash.
10. Use common sense. That will take care of 90% of your questions on what to do to treat a girl right.
Oh my friend... I used to think like you.... But now I see that this is really "The School of How to Let Girls Walk All Over You." I am not bitter. I am not angry with women at this moment. Some of this is really good advise. Like #6, but only when it doesn't affect #8. But... 1, 2, 3, 5, and 7... I gotta say no. Follow those and you may proceed directly to whipped. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. See, Dex, a good relationship is one where that stuff doesn't matter anymore. A good relationship is where you can object to her changing the radio station, and not worry that it will cause a problem in your realtionship. A good realtionship is where you follow #6 and start things out right. If you let them walk all over you in the beginning, they will expect it for the rest of your time together. So then either (a) you let them walk all over you for the rest of the time, or (b) you stop and suddenly you aren't who they thought you were from the beginning. A relationship is about being honest with the person you are with, yes, but it is also about being honest with yourself. If it really bugs you that she wants to change the station, and you assert that, then you are being honest. If she doesn't want to be with you because you dig polka and can't stop listening to it, then you'll find out early that it's not meant to be. Trust me, early is better.
And for the record... women are not princesses. Women are humans. Just like men. We are not below them, nor are they below us. The instant you start acting like they are better than you is the instant they smell fresh blood in the water. (Not all women are sharks either, it's an analogy.) Not all women are class acts. Not all women are perfect. Not all women are deep and caring. All women are human. They can be just as shallow as us, and for the most part, they are. That's the deal with why we can't understand each other. See, we can, we just don't want to believe we can. Men know how shallow they can be, and don't want to believe that women can think the same way, but they do. Women know how shallow they can be and don't want to think men can think the same way, but we do. When women ditch men because they have a stupid laugh, and then wonder why they got stood up, no one wants to tell her it's because she smells like soup, and she can't believe that men could be that shallow. Or vice versa. But women are not princesses anymore than men are princes. And sure, you can get someone to like you because you treat them like a princess, but you can't get someone to love you for it. You get someone to love you for all the other stuff, all the little idiosyncracies that make up who you are. These are not things like holding doors and paying for dinner because it's the way to treat girls. This is like opening doors and paying for dinner because you genuinely want to. This is how you act around kids, this is how passionate you can be. This is all the stuff that people discover about you when you aren't trying to show it to them. This is the stuff that happens when you aren't trying to impress them by being a good guy. And you can't fake that, no matter how many bills you pick up, or doors you open. No matter how many times you let them play with the radio, or wear their favorite cologne. No matter how many times you tell them how beautiful they are or make them laugh, if they aren't attracted to what's under all the chivalry, it's not going to happen. This doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, it just means you don't match, no matter how badly you want to. If the key doesn't fit the lock, it's not going to work, no matter how much you dress up the key. (not a sexual analogy, grow up.) This goes for both sides. I've been in love, and it wasn't there for them. I've had people be in love with me, and it wasn't there for me. No amount of grace or generousity, chivalry or ass-kissing will ever change that. It just has to fit.
I do agree with one thing though, Jon. Whatever you do, don't be trash.
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