I am so scared. I'm scared of life. Life is like blackjack. You can say that you play the hand life deals you as best as you can, but if the dealer hits blackjack, no matter what hand you're dealt, you are straight fucked.
I look at my parents. They met when they were five. Dated throughout high school. Married at 18, and are still happily married at 40. From hot dogs and mac and cheese, to owning two nice houses, while remodeling one of them, raising three boys sucessfully, paying for college for one of them, soon for two of them. These kids have never (except possibly one of them, who enjoys mac and cheese and hot dogs) known what it's like to not get what you wanted.
I look at my uncle. He's in his sixties, has been married and divorced 3 times. He has contracted cancer, and his daughter was killed at 16.
Do whatever you like, life can knock it down without a second thought. Why do people hit the lottery? Why do people die of cancer in fifth grade? Why is someone born into wealth? Why do thousands of people die in the World Trade Center on a seemingly normal work day. Why do people happily marry their first love? Why do people die 80 and alone with a number of heartbreaks to look back on?
People have told me I deserve to find someone to fall in love with, someone to be happy with. The word "deserve" doesn't mean jack squat in life.
It scares the bejesus out of me.
I look at my parents. They met when they were five. Dated throughout high school. Married at 18, and are still happily married at 40. From hot dogs and mac and cheese, to owning two nice houses, while remodeling one of them, raising three boys sucessfully, paying for college for one of them, soon for two of them. These kids have never (except possibly one of them, who enjoys mac and cheese and hot dogs) known what it's like to not get what you wanted.
I look at my uncle. He's in his sixties, has been married and divorced 3 times. He has contracted cancer, and his daughter was killed at 16.
Do whatever you like, life can knock it down without a second thought. Why do people hit the lottery? Why do people die of cancer in fifth grade? Why is someone born into wealth? Why do thousands of people die in the World Trade Center on a seemingly normal work day. Why do people happily marry their first love? Why do people die 80 and alone with a number of heartbreaks to look back on?
People have told me I deserve to find someone to fall in love with, someone to be happy with. The word "deserve" doesn't mean jack squat in life.
It scares the bejesus out of me.
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