If You Build It, They Will Come.

Thursday, March 21, 2002

Also check this out. I try to post my own stuff here, but this is the Rosetta Stone that us guys have been looking for for centuries.

how to decifer girl speak

Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguements.

Five Minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your hockey game is going to last before you do whatever it is she wants you to do.

Nothing: This means something. Be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to rip your face off. Nothing usually signifies an arguement that will last five minutes and end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): Translation: "I dare you." This will result in her getting mad over nothing and will end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (Normal Eyebrows): Translation: "I give up" or "Do what you want, I don't care." You will get a go ahead with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by nothing and fine. She will talk to you in about five minutes when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but it is still a verbal statement misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are a moron at the moment and wonders why she's wasting her time arguing with you over nothing.

Soft Sigh: (Again, not a word, but you know...) She is content. Your best bet is not to talk or move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, well, I just talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says oh before any statement, run -- do not walk -- to the nearest exit.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man. That's okay means that she wants to think long and hard before repaying you for whatever it is that you did wrong. You do not want to be there when that happens.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it's an offer. She's giving you the opportunity to come up with whatever lame-ass excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is you've done. You have a fair change to tell the truth here. Be very careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay."

Thanks: She's thanking you. Don't feel faint, just say, "You're welcome."

Thanks a Lot: This longer phrase is not to be confused with thanks. She'll say "thanks a lot" when she's actually seriously peeved at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will generally be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh, or she will say nothing and raise her eyebrows.



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