If You Build It, They Will Come.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Hey Joe.

Did you come looking for me?

You and I are all over the internet. Only you and I it would seem. There are no other Joe Parcell's out there. So one boring day in Missouri, you decided to get on the internet and look yourself up on Metacrawler. There you found me. Joseph G. Parcell.

Welcome to my site, Dr. Joseph L. Parcell.

Are you a farm doctor? You study the behaviors of cows and pigs, and the production of soybeans and everything... it's got to be terribly fascinating. I read some of the study you did about the Empirical Investigation of Live Hog Demand, with James and Ron. Is James still at Kansas State? I know someone who lives out there....

So now, I'm imagining a scenario where Laura Barb bumps into James Mintert, and he says something about all the work he did with Joe Parcell trying to figure out how in demand pigs are, and she gets all confused because she thinks you mean me, when you really mean the OTHER Joe Parcell, and the gang from Full House stops by, and Uncle Jesse learns an important lesson about 10-10-321, and Michelle says something cute, and hilarity ensues...

...now I'm imagining the Olsen twins....

Anyway, Joe... Dr. Joe... if you ever stop by, let me know. Leave a message. Maybe we can hang out someday, and go to a restaurant and have reservations, and then when the hostess calls Joe Parcell, we can both get up. God, that would be hilarious.

I'll bet my middle name is cooler than yours. L. What could that be? Leroy? Leonard? Lucas? If it was Leonardo, or Leopard or maybe like L.L. Cool J, then I guess I would have to give the coolest middle name award to you.

Man after devoting this entire post to you, I feel like I've really gotten to know you. I'm starting to get concerned about soybeans, too. Maybe we're like long lost doppelgangers... wouldn't that be creepy? We look exactly alike. Then one day, we have to meet and fight to the death, like in Highlander.

There can be only one.

I'm just playing. I'm not making fun of you or anything. I'm sure the day you find out that there is a much cooler version of yourself, your clone, living in Michigan, you'll have enough of a bad day without him slandering you from a website.

Again, kidding. Man I hope this other me has a sense of humor.

Holy crap, I just found your picture... we do look a little alike.... creepy.

Hey.... for my regular visitors.....

Erin Stotts is a high school track star.

Rob Macinnis played defense for the Rockin Roller hockey team before moving up to the Ottakringer team (and incedentally is the brother of the man who holds the record for hardest slapshot at 109mph, St. Louis Blues defenseman, Al Macinnis). He's also the President and CEO of OCR Web Design.

Kristine Williams is an accomplished author. She's also stayin' home and lovin' it. Oh, and a doctor. Big deal, Joe Parcell is a doctor. What is Krissy Williams a doctor of? Oh, nursing. My guy is a doctor of farms. Kristine got her degree at Kent State. Here's Erin Stotts (the real one) using her education wisely at Kent State.

Jon, all I could find about you was... well... really you.

Jamie Flynn... you're a kicker for EKU's football team. You're a forward for WCU's hockey team. And, you're an irish EMT.

Charlie DeBone, all I could find about you was a history of meat. (How to "debone the chuck")

Jackie LaDuke. There's nothing out there but you. Marcy Bross, nothing at all.

Hmm. That killed an hour.


And goodnight Dr. Joe.... where ever you are....


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