Once more upon the soapbox and I'm done...

"Naturally the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country."

-Hermann Goering. Hitler's Reich-Marshall at the Nuremberg Trails after WWII.

We also protest because Cheney and his friends are making a fortune off of this war. Military contracts were sold to Cheney's pals without any competitive bidding, which is how it's usually done. Instead they all cashed in. Now they're talking about installing a US General as the new leader of post-war Iraq, and barring France, Germany and Russia any Iraqi oil. Is anyone surprised? If so, you should be smacked, because this was a no-brainer. We all love our soldiers, we don't want them to die to line the pockets of our "elected" leader who is letting our country go straight to hell in a recession while he's busy worrying about what he's going to do with all the extra billions he'll be saving by being able to take Iraqi oil without having to pay for it.

i hate being sick

I think that most anti-war protestors are not anti-american. It's the ability to protest and the freedom of speech that allows them to protest. But I think we as americans have come a long way since Vietnam. I think most anti-war protestors, like myself, support our troops. We realize how dangerous a storm they're walking into, (lately figuratively and literally) and there's no way we can thank them enough for what they're doing, other than to try to get them home so they don't have to be there anymore. I know people in Iraq. And I don't want them to get hurt. I respect what they do. Their world has gone mad, and they're there for us. We don't protest them, because we love them. We protest war, because we hate war.

Most of us protest this war because we don't buy it. George Bush was talking about attacking Iraq even before he was "elected" during the debates. He gets into office and within two weeks he's bombed Iraq again. We knew back then it would lead to this, we just didn't know why, and most of us still don't. After September 11, the focus shifted to a "War on Terror," "The Axis of Evil," The Taliban, Osama bin Laden, Afghanistan... and then almost inexplicably the focus started to slowly shift back to Iraq. We still never caught bin Laden, but suddenly we don't care anymore. Now it's a war on terror against Saddam Hussein. When no one bought it, the reason for war became "He's hiding weapons that are in violation of UN Resolutions." So we sent in inspectors. They found nothing. Then the reason for the war became "To liberate the unempowered Iraqi people." And apparently we liked that, because the approval rating for the war went up. But us, against war, realize that the reason isn't any of the above, because war with Iraq was a forgone conclusion the day Bush first sat down in the Oval Office. It doesn't matter what excuse he makes up for it to feed us, we were going anyway. And now we've said that WE get to pick who gets Iraq after the war, not the UN. This sounds fishy to me and to the people blocking traffic in NYC, Boston, LA and whatever other city Bill O' Reilly is calling un-american. How much money would Haliburton Ind. save if they could take oil from Iraq instead of buy it? Billions a year. Where would these billions go? Dick Cheney.

We protest war, we love our soldiers, and we don't want to see them die to line the pockets of some rich old white guys. Is that un-american?

Spam sucks.

Welcome back Daedalus55!
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Realized last night that it's a two way street that not many others wish to travel, but when they do, traffic is buzzing.

Uh-huh... sha-la.... daddy's gonna pay for your crashed car....

But when it's my time to throw the next stone... I'll call you beautiful... if I call at all...

New name.

I've hit that breaking point. Finally. I need a new definition, and I think tonight I've found it. I'm no longer satisfied. I can spew out advice until I'm blue in the face, and I never take any of it for myself. Well tonight that's going to change. I'm 22. All this kid stuff is done for me. I'm focusing now. I'm dedicated. I'm grown up, and I'm going to start acting like it. I'm tired of loafing around, I'm tired of being stagnant. I'm frustrated and sick of waiting around, hoping. If anything in my life is going to happen, I need to make it happen. And so now, I'm going to make it happen. Instead of wishing for the last step, I'm going to take the first one. The best part is that I've got nothing but time.

I'm probably going to piss a few people off along the way. I'm sorry. But it can't be helped. I've got a goal, and if you get in my way, I'm going to run you down. If you kindly object, I'm going to kindly ignore you.

I'm better than this. Much better than this. I'm wasting away here, and now I'm done. No one makes it without risk. Only those bold enough to chase their dreams ever catch them. Anyone who has ever made it, at one time or another, put all of their eggs in one basket. They've bet it all on black, and they got lucky. Well now I'm ready. Now I'm ready to put everything on the line. And if I don't win, at least I won't look back in fifty years and say it was because I never took the chance.

So now, it's on. I'm tired of telling other people what to do. I'm tired of trying to help other people figure out their lives and not looking at my own.

Most of the people who read this have no idea about me. A couple do. Most of the people who have seen me recently, hell, anyone who has met me after I was six, have no idea of what I'm capable of. I've been quiet. I've been watching. I hope my family hasn't lost faith in me, I wouldn't blame them if they have. It doesn't really matter anymore. I'll show them again. I've been brooding, I've been dancing, I've been doing the motions. I've been bored. I've been doing what I've been told. I've fit in, I've conformed. I've bent, I've twisted. I've played by the rules, because I had to. Done my homework.... sometimes. Studied... sometimes. Never chewed gum in class. Worked for teachers approval to get a letter on a piece of paper. I've studied the "bi-labial stop," I've studied Romeo and Juliet until it was coming out of my ears. I wrote an eight page paper in 12th grade with each individual thought written on a separate notecard. Never because I wanted to, never because I thought it was of any redeeming value whatsoever. Because I had to.

But I'm 22 now. I'm not in school, I'm separate from my parents, I am completely independant. Now there are no more rules. I'm free. And what have I done with this freedom? I've been squandering it. I've been content with standing on a path leading to a meaningless life of serving coffee, or working the A-Mod. All that is over now. It's a power trip, it really is, to realize you answer to no one anymore. No one but yourself. I can do anything. Anything. And I'll never settle again. I know what I'm capable of, and few others do, because they've never seen me want anything. They've never seen me attack something with everything I have. But it's in me. It's shuddering in anticipation. I've felt it before, twice that I can think of. And both times I came up short. But it doesn't matter, because as much as I'd like to have won, I stopped only when I was in checkmate. And I don't feel an ounce of regret in either case. I did my best. And I'm proud of myself. And sure there are nay-sayers everywhere who say it was a fools quest. People who said it was stupid to even try. Jonny, if you're reading this, you'll enjoy my next positive message. To all of those people, fuck you. I don't have a bit of remorse, I'd do it the same again. Say nay to me again this time. Tell me I'm being stupid. Illogical. Tell me I should be sensible, and give this up. You can't touch me, you can't move me. You won't phase me, you won't divert me. The rest of my life is mine. And when I make it, you'll all say you're proud of me, like you were patting my back the entire time. And I'll get a small chuckle from it. I'm good. I'm going to show you all that I'm good. I'm done wishing. I'm done imagining. It's time to act. Time to move. Hell, it's past time, I got to make up some space. I'm done lounging, I'm done being the burned out college student. It's time for a redefinition of myself. I've found something to latch onto, I've found something to be passionate about.

I'm going to be unstoppable. It all starts with a first step. I've taken a lot of first steps. I promise you, and myself, that this time, I'm going to take the last step as well.

Inside the mind of Tyler Durden...

This is your life, good to the last drop. It doesn't get any better than this.

This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

This isn't a seminar. This isn't a weekend retreat. From where you are now you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like. Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything, that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

You are not your bank account....
You are not the clothes you wear....
You are not the contents of your wallet....
You are not your bowel cancer....
You are not your grande latte....
You are not the car you drive....
You are not your fucking khakis....

You have to give up. You have to give up. You have to realize that someday you will die. Until you know that, you are useless.

I say, may I never be complete....
I say, may I never be content....
I say, deliver me from swedish furniture....
I say, deliver me from clever art....
I say, deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth....
I say, you have to give up...
I say, evolve. And let the chips fall where they may.

You have to give up.
You have to give up.

C'mon and kick me....
C'mon and kick me....
You got your problems....
I got my ass wide....
You got your big G's.....
I've got my hash pipe.....

Sing with me...
Sing for the year...
Sing for the laughter....
Sing for the tear....
Sing with me....
Just for today...
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away.....

Don't it make you smile....
Don't it make you smile....
When the sun don't shine....
Don't it make you smile....