If You Build It, They Will Come.

Sunday, March 31, 2002

I love being sneaky. There's a link well hidden on this page.

I hate being hungry. There's no food in my fridge.

Saturday, March 30, 2002

I'm watching VH1's Behind the Music: Creed. I used to think that these guys were no talent jerky's who were way too full of themselves. Jesus, was I right. Scott Stapp is the biggest conceited, untalented, lucky bastard in the history of music. His body language suggests that everything he says is the most powerful sentence spoken by mortal man.

"I know one day we won't be the biggest rock band in the world." -Scott Stapp

Get over yourself you Eddie Vedder wannabe. That's all.

Friday, March 29, 2002

I just saw what I believe to be the ultimate guy movie. Now I'm not big on the traditional guy movie, I didn't like Blade 2. Few people that I know who saw it did. But I just sat down with a bag of Doritos and a beer and watched "The One." Not only did this movie have fighting, it had martial arts. Not only did it have martial arts, it had Jet Li. Not only did it have Jet Li, it had TWO Jet Li's. Fighting each other. Not only did it have two Jet Li's fighting each other, it had them fighting Matrix style. Not only that, at the beginning, Jet Li kicked a bunch of guys asses to Drowning Pool's "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor." I feel like doing a keg stand, then taking my shirt off and screaming "WOOOOO!!!" while watching the superbowl and having sex with a girl whose name I can't remember, but I'll "call her tomorrow."

Thursday, March 28, 2002

"Oh yeah JPjr. C.S. [Chris Szyzgiel] is not the type of guy girls bump into and don’t even see." -Laura Barb

Yeah, you're right. I wanted to throw in the "invisible wall" joke, Chris was my victim. Ok, so Chris is a hottie too I guess....maybe. So in honor of my suitemate for life, I will leave you with some great Szyzgiel sayings....

"Right there... did he say "na na?" Hold on, I'll play it again. There! I think he said "na na!"" -CS

"Do you drink Mountain Dew? Do you drink Mountain Dew?" -CS

Pardigm Shift.

Everytime I discover something new about life, it makes me believe that life is that much worse. Let me not say life, let me say reality. Life implies "my life." My life is alright.

I need air, but air is outside.
I need water, but water is downstairs.
I need sunlight, but sunlight is behind the clouds.

If it's a test, I'll pass.
If it's a trial, I'll get to the end.
If it's reality, I'm tired of it all already.

So much of life is dependent on the flip of a coin. I watched Ed last night, this idea was the main theme of last nights show. You can work really hard and get nowhere. You can sit on your couch and become famous. Born rich, born poor, born short, born tall. I feel that if there is such a thing as fate, it's kicked my ass for long enough. I'm tired of hero's trials. I'm tired of rationalizing everything as a hero's trial. I remember being happy. I remember putting my trust and faith into something larger than myself. I remember honestly believing it too. I could do it again, I know I could. I'm just stung. I'm just apprehensive. Maybe it's time.

I know what you think I'm talking about. I assure you you're wrong. Something larger than myself is not love. That's a very small part of it. I can't describe what it is. Comfort? Maybe. I don't need anyone else to be happy. That is very far from what I believe, no matter how much you don't believe me. I used to think that. I long time ago. But it should be apparent now that I don't think that. If you don't believe me, read scene 12.5 in my screenplay. I created Steve for that scene. I've believed that for a long time.

Do I have to low of an opinion of myself? Maybe. See, I don't need other people to be happy, but other people can bring me down really fast. Our whole argument last night over who had it easier whilst meeting people, guys or girls, spawned from personal experience. I showed you guys. I talked to the girl at the table. I got three words out of her before she turned away from me. Meanwhile I know if a girl came up and talked to me out of nowhere, I would do my best to keep it going. It would be my lucky day, as it would for a lot of guys. You said you didn't want to talk to guys because you'd be afraid of leading them on. I tried to prove my point on that statement, but I couldn't say it right last night. So here it is. Of course you'd be afraid of leading them on, leading them on implies they're interested in you. You know that before even going over there. We aren't concerned with leading on the girls, we're concerned about being embarrassingly ignored or blown off. I've seen the way you react to random people talking to you. I've heard you say "oh my god what a freak." I remember thinking what he said to you wasn't all that freaky. (You meaning girls, not a specific girl.)

When a girl randomly talks to a guy, the first thing that goes through our mind is: "Wow, this girl wants to talk to me, this must be my lucky day, because I didn't even do anything. I'm going to go play the lotto when I leave. I am king!"

When a guy randomly talks to a girl, the first thing that goes though her mind is: "He might be nice, but he might also be a pervert rapist. Watch my drink, make sure he doesn't slip anything in it. Look around to find a potential guy who is my "boyfriend" and when he gets done talking.... wait a minute... I've seen this guy... he works at the video game store in the mall... this conversation is over."

Ok slight exaggerations. But ask any of us nice guys who aren't GQ, and guess what, we'll all tell you the same thing. You have some kind of blinders on when it comes to us. Jon was right. As far as looks go, guys want to date a 7, 8, 9 or 10. Girls will not date a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5. And I'm a 5. Nina told me so.

I should explain that. I'm not saying girls are all shallow, it's just they don't give us on the lower end of the spectrum a fair shot at first. My friend Nina is like, majorly hot. I'd give her a 9.5. She's dating my suitemate for life Chris Szyzgiel, who on looks alone get maybe a 6 on a good day. She is so in love with him. But they knew each other before they started dating for like a year and a half. See, Chris is an awesome guy, but is not the kind of guy a girl would see unless he bumped into her. Then she would look around confused and feel for the invisible wall she just hit. Nina, BA, and I were at Wayside last September. We asked her what she'd rate us on a scale of 1-10. (This scale is being overused, sorry.) She gave BA an 8 and me a 5. It really was no surprise. BUT she said that was based on looks alone, just seeing us for the first time. She said because she knows me, she'd give me an 8. (Humorusly, because she knows BA, he dropped to a 7.5). See, and I love that. I have a lot of confidence in myself in that manner. I know I'm a good guy. I really don't sell myself short. It's just, the first thing that girls see is that I'm a 5. Once I get to know you... I'm an 8. But if I get blown off after three words, you never get to know me. Laura and I dated five months after we met. Erin knew of me for a few years before she expressed an interest in me. Jackie knew me for a while before we dated. No one likes me right off the bat. But that's a very tight filter to squeeze through, because not that many girls get to know me. Once you do, I'm a sweetheart. :)

But like I said, I don't need anyone else to make me happy. This was just a side note to last night's conversation. It's just tiring to see girls you want hook up with other guys. Like everyday at Babbages. We see a girl come into the store every few days. And we're like, "Wow, she's cute." Then one of two things happen. Her boyfrined comes up from behind her and she asks if they can leave, or two this scenario or some reasonable facsimile thereof: February 13, 2002, John Aitken and I are working. This girl, skinny, 5'10", gorgeous body, beautiful face, stunning eyes, comes into the store. Somewhere in the background I think a choir of angels starting singing. She walks up to the counter and I'm standing on the side. She looks at me and says, "Escuse me, do you verk here?" ACCENT! She has a beautiful voice and an accent! My misspelling of the words do not do it justice. "Yes," I manage to say. "I vant to buy a Playstation 2 and Gran Turismo and Devil May Cry." My jaw dropped. This girl was awesome! A sweet system, and two kick ass games. She was so hot, and she was about to spend over $400 dollars on vidoe games. Nothing is cooler than a girl who plays video games. (I wasn't kidding, Laura, I never wanted you more than the time we spent $9 playing CarnEvil in the Berhard Center.) So we ask if she needs anything else. "I don't know, vhat would you vant? It's for my boyfriend for Valentines Day." People, I've never wanted to die like I did that day. Not only was this girl visually stunning, she had the accent, and she dumped over $400 on her boyfriend, not for his birthday, not for christmas, for VALENTINE'S DAY!! If I spend $30 on Valentines Day, I feel pretty good about myself. I cried, I was inconsolable for the next hour or so. And you know her boyfriend was probably a dick too.

So hey, a memo to all the hottie girls out there. If you want a good realtionship, take off those blinders. There are a lot more guys in the room. And hey, we may not be GQ, but we're really up there when you talk to us. For the Five and Under Club, this is Joe Parcell.... goodnight. And goodnight Foriegn Hottie PS2 Girl... where ever you are....

Just stop.

Wednesday, March 27, 2002

Casting is hard. Especially when it's your friends.

I feel very aggressive right now. Almost angry. I don't know why. I'm trying to take it out on the evil-doers in Hogan's Alley, but it's not working. They aren't real, they're cardboard cut outs. I'm mad for some reason. OP is tonight. I'll try to cheer up by then.

This morning I was out of bed before I was even awake. It was the strangest experience. The alarm went off and I was up turning it off when I realized I didn't know what was going on, what day it was, where I was, what that noise was, who I was. I was in a state of complete confusion. I shut off the alarm and looked around and finally everything came back to me. Very strange.

On another note, I missed McDonalds breakfast. That kind of sucks. The Joe wanted a Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit.

So... notes on the production of the film. The screenplay is finished. Casting is not. There are four available male parts and four available female parts, but no one really wants to voluenteer for anything. Jess voluenteered for the part of Claire, but she may have changed her mind. I think I'm going to write a letter to all my friends and ask them to tell me what they would like to do. The filming schedule is done. Filming should take only about 5 days, plus any re-shooting after that. I have a schedule by day, and a schedule by character written out. I'm also keeping track of production costs. About $26 dollars so far. Heh.

Anyway, here are the list of characters, and a short little blurb about them along with shooting days (D=Day N=Night) and reletive amount of screen time. Since my friends all read this, let me know what you want to do.

JEREMY RYAN: (Day 1DN, 2DN, 3DN, 4D, 5DN) Main Character. Lots of lines.

a 21-year-old college student. JEREMY has always had an idea of how he wanted his life to go, but never questioned if there was anything better. Partially because his fear of change, partially his ignorance of knowing anything different. Jeremy is currently a computer science major at WMU. He has a girlfriend of ten months, CLAIRE, and they are quite happy with each other. JEREMY is funny, sweet, kind of messy, can be spontaneous, or can be quite a dick if he is in that kind of a mood.

STEVEN WALKER: (Day 1DN, 2DN, 3N, 4N, 5OFF) Main Character. Lots of Lines.

21, majoring in communications. Single, lonely. Won’t be happy until he’s got someone. He is hopeless romantic, in complete denial of romanticism. Believes that he’s been in love before, but isn’t really sure. Ever so slightly jealous and resentful of others luck with the ladies, STEVE is relatively optimistic in just about everything but women.

CLAIRE ANDERSEN: (Day 1DN, 2N, 3DN, 4D, 5OFF) Main Character. Lots of lines.

also 21 and a college student education major. CLAIRE is more of a laid back girl. She seems to have her priorities straight, and her goals on track. CLAIRE is organized; she carries her appointment book with her everywhere. CLAIRE comes from a middle to low-income family, she’s paying for everything on her own, but it’s her good grades and sturdy work ethic that got her a full ride. She loves JEREMY, he’s helped her learn to relax and get to be the laid back one we see today.

CHRIS WILLIAMS: (Day 1DN, 2N, 3OFF, 4OFF, 5OFF) Side Character. Plays guitar. Few lines.

CHRIS is a college student, 22. He’s a friend to everyone involved. CHRIS is a pretty friendly guy. He’s on the straight and narrow path. He’s a simple person in a place where being simple is next to impossible. Chris plays an open mic. night at the OLDE PENNINSULA on Mondays.

KEVIN HORAN: (Day 1DN, 2N, 3N, 4OFF, 5OFF) Side Character. One big scene, a few short ones.

KEVIN is CHRIS’S ROOMMATE. He’s kind of a scary kid, like the kind of guy who’d be voted most likely to stalk Madonna or something. He’s especially frightening because he’s got a huge crush on CLAIRE. He’s just a little obsessed with baseball. He also hates JEREMY out of jealousy.

HOSTESS: (Day 1DN, 2N, 3OFF, 4N, 5OFF) Sort of main character. One long dialogue scene, a few shorter ones.

The girl who works at the OP. She’s purposely never given a name throughout the whole script. She’s a girl in her early 20’s who is just out to have a good time when she can. She’s quite emotionally immature, but it never really shows until it’s too late.

ROB ADKINS: (Day 1N, 2N, 3OFF, 4OFF, 5OFF) Side character. No big scenes, few lines.

A friend to everyone involved. He’s a college student, but not a very good one. He’s more focused on the party aspect rather than the school aspect even though he’s in his fourth year. He’s too immature to graduate. He still thinks poop is funny.

AMY JOHNSON: (Day 1N, 2N, 3N, 4OFF, 5OFF) Side Character. No big scenes, very few lines.

CLAIRE’S roommate. Basically full of herself, always uses other peoples talking time to think of what she’s going to say next, rather than listening.

SHANNON KIRBY-HAMILTON: (Day 1OFF, 2OFF, 3OFF, 4OFF 5D) One big scene to be filmed in Grand Rapids. Lots of lines in one scene.

A workaholic, with an unparalleled sense of motivation and drive. She’s a friend of JEREMY’S from High School, though the two were acquaintances at best in those years. She’s a great student, married early, graduated early, starting life early. A BA in psych from MSU and plans for a masters.

So hey, let me know what you want to do or a couple parts you might want to play. Email me

Tuesday, March 26, 2002

I have come to the conclusion that "The Avenging Disco Godfather" is a public service announcement gone horribly, horribly wrong. "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is a movie that is so bad, it's good. "The Avenging Disco Godfather" is so bad, it may cause permanent damage. But as I am sitting here watching it, I find a new sense of hope. If a movie about an ex-cop who buys a disco, and becomes the "disco godfather" only to find angel dust (PCP) going through his club, so he becomes some kind of gay disco superhero, ("gay" not being derogatory, it seems he is very homosexual), while his club patrons dance poorly into the night in 20 minute long cut scenes can get made, then so can "Ordinary Life."

Sunday, March 24, 2002

Amazing. I just finished my first screenplay about two weeks ago, and already I have ideas for three more. I think I've finally found what I've been looking for. If only I had some free time.

Saturday, March 23, 2002

I saw two movies yesterday. I saw Resident Evil with Laura in the afternoon, and Blade 2 with guys from work at night. Resident Evil was by far the better movie. In fact I said I would rent Blade 2 because I was convinced it would be like Blade, of which I wasn't a tremendous fan. But it wasn't like Blade, it was worse. Blade 2 had exploding Ultraviolet Grenades that did nothing but shoot light out, but did so with a huge explosive sound and the light shot down tunnels like fire. My flashlight doesn't make explosion sounds and produce wind when I turn it on, but these ones did. The other part of Blade 2 that really upset not just me, but the rest of the guys from work who were big Blade fans, is the stunts done by Randy "Macho Man" Savage. Blade suplexes a villian much in the way the British Bulldog used to do, holding him up in the air and then finally as Gorrila Monsoon would be yelling that the blood has all rushed to his head, he drops him down. And another time the "Predator" Vampire jumps off a column and delivers a devastating elbow right to the chest of Blade. He then goes for the sleeper hold and Blades arm drops once... twice... oh my god he's breaking out! The adrenaline is flowing and he's kicking out! Ok, that last part didn't happen. Plus a few of the fight scenes were animated. That was just weird.

Resident Evil was surprisingly good. By far the best movie based on a video game that has ever been produced. It was scary at parts, I jumped a few times. Left open for a sequel, starting ironically where the game Resident Evil 2 starts. Plus any movie with a naked Mila Jovovich is ok by me. Blade 2 didn't have a naked Mila Jovovich.

Blade 2 * * *
Resident Evil * * * * 1/2

"Man, she's gotta be like fifty or sixty now. But at the time, she was the same age as us." --Trey Parker, talking about an actress from "Cannibal."

Thursday, March 21, 2002

Also check this out. I try to post my own stuff here, but this is the Rosetta Stone that us guys have been looking for for centuries.

how to decifer girl speak

Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguements.

Five Minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your hockey game is going to last before you do whatever it is she wants you to do.

Nothing: This means something. Be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling she has of wanting to rip your face off. Nothing usually signifies an arguement that will last five minutes and end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows): Translation: "I dare you." This will result in her getting mad over nothing and will end with the word fine.

Go Ahead (Normal Eyebrows): Translation: "I give up" or "Do what you want, I don't care." You will get a go ahead with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by nothing and fine. She will talk to you in about five minutes when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but it is still a verbal statement misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are a moron at the moment and wonders why she's wasting her time arguing with you over nothing.

Soft Sigh: (Again, not a word, but you know...) She is content. Your best bet is not to talk or move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, well, I just talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says oh before any statement, run -- do not walk -- to the nearest exit.

That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can say to a man. That's okay means that she wants to think long and hard before repaying you for whatever it is that you did wrong. You do not want to be there when that happens.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it's an offer. She's giving you the opportunity to come up with whatever lame-ass excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is you've done. You have a fair change to tell the truth here. Be very careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay."

Thanks: She's thanking you. Don't feel faint, just say, "You're welcome."

Thanks a Lot: This longer phrase is not to be confused with thanks. She'll say "thanks a lot" when she's actually seriously peeved at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way and will generally be followed by the loud sigh. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the loud sigh, or she will say nothing and raise her eyebrows.


Hey I found some more cool quizzes. Check it yo.

I need to see Empire Records again. I've only seen it once.

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Irony. I'm watching Temple of Doom right now.

Which Action Star Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Hells yeah. Seriously, like that Ghostface guy, how easy would it be to figure out who that was. He always got his ass kicked. Suddenly the boyfriend is inexplicably bruised? And where do you get those cool voice box things?

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's Crafty

I've never seen "Say Anthing." But is that John Kusack?

Who's Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She's Crafty

Dude I was hoping for Judd Nelson. He was harsh. But yeah, I saw this coming.

Which Breakfast Clubber Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Wednesday, March 20, 2002

I am tired. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of being upset. I want to stop, but I can't seem to let myself. I want to smile but it always seems forced. I have this one friend that one time she called me up crying. I tried to talk her through it, I tried to be compassionate. At the end of the conversation I think I made her feel a little better, but not completely better. I told her I wanted to just give her a hug. It was like 2am. We hung up and I drove over to her place and surprised her, just to give her that hug. Then I find that when I'm down, people ignore it. Not all people, but the majority of the people who I want help from. Maybe I'm down too much. I know I've been pissy the last few times at the OP. I don't really know how to ask for help. I just get quiet and hope someone will ask why. I try to spread as much compassion and go out of my way to drive over to someones house at 2am just to make them feel better. But sometimes I need a little coming my way too. Sometimes I need someone to talk to. Sometimes I need a shoulder to cry on. And sometimes I need to feel like someone is concerned. Like the way I feel is important enough for someone to go out of their way to try to make it better. Maybe I express that in the wrong ways. But in so many aspects I feel that I give more than I recieve. It doesn't take much. Last week a good friend called and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. That made my entire day. If someone asks what is wrong and I say nothing, that in and of itself makes me feel better because they are concerned. If you tell some sort of dumb joke to me like Jon always does, I may not smile, but I know you're trying to cheer me up, and that is great. I truly appreciate it. But sometimes I just feel like if I faded away no one would really notice. If I never called anyone, or put in any effort, I would end up sitting here alone everynight. I hate that thought. I told someone I just wanted to feel like how I felt was a big deal to someone else. They told me that no one's feelings are a big deal to anyone else. But the way other people feel IS a big deal to me. Otherwise I wouldn't have driven over at 2am to give my friend a hug. All I was asking for was one selfless thoughtful act. All I wanted was something to make me say, "Wow, that person didn't have to do that. That was so nice. And they did it just to try to make me feel better. How sweet." For all the times I've done it for other people, I just wanted one. When Kristine ditched me before prom, Erin drove all the way home on three days notice, got her old dress and swallowed some pride to go back to her old high school to go with me. It was way more than I could have ever expected from anyone, and I will always love her for it. Always. That is by far the best thing anyone has ever done for me. I'm not asking for anything that big. Let me tell you the second best thing anyone has done for me. Laura and I were at Mejer in December of 99. We passed a book stand that had "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." I said, "I love that book." Then came christmas, and she gave it to me. It was the fact that she remembered me saying that. It was a Dr. Seuss book, that's it. But she made a mental note. That still makes me smile. All I want is to feel like I'm worth a little effort. That's all I've really ever wanted to feel. Now I feel bad though, like I'm asking for it, so it kind of taints the entire endeavor. I just have been wishing for a long time that someone came to this conclusion on their own. Apart from Laura asking me to go out to dinner last week, I don't remember the last spontanious phone call I've gotten. It would just be nice to feel like somebody cares. That's all.

Finally... the Joe HAS COME BACK..... to blogspot.

Know what? Tonight I am alone. Tonight I don't care. Tonight it's fine. Tonight I am on someone's shitlist. And tonight someone is finally on mine. You know I think this is what I've been missing. This is what I've been forgetting. I'm so good at seeing other people's sides, I look over my own. I've never really been mad, I've just said, "you know what, I'm probably over-reacting." Last night I stood up for my feelings, and I was right to do so. After hearing it over and over again, I finally got fed up. And I finally said something. And I finally meant it. It'll blow over. But god I feel better. You've never been on my shitlist before, you've never been on my bad side. Even after it was over, even way back then, you weren't on my bad side. I always tried to understand it, I always tried to understand you. I always forced justification for what you've done denying my own common sense. Last night I let that go. We never really squared off in our lives until now. This is a very new feeling for me. I don't think I've ever felt like this concerning you. And like I said, I know it'll blow over. I know we'll be pals again. We'll both get over this and move on. Hopefully soon. As refreshing as it is to look at you in a different light, I know I don't want to do it for long. I will start to miss you, as I hope you will me. This just might take some time.

Tuesday, March 19, 2002

Tonight I am alone. As opposed to the other hundreds of nights that I am alone, tonight it hurts. Tonight is one of those nights. Actually it's been one of those days. Those days where I can't shake this feeling. Why tonight, who knows. Tonight is one of those nights where I would love to have someone to lay with, someone to smile at, someone to hold or to hold me. And tonight is one of those nights where I reflect back on all those people who could do this and make me feel so much better than I do right now. And tonight I realize they are all somewhere else, with somebody else. Tonight I feel unaffective, unnoticed, tonight I feel small, unimportant. I've been feeling the way I do tonight off and on over the last few weeks. I hate this. I hate waking up feeling like this, knowing it will stick with me all day. I feel exhausted, frustrated. I feel stored, shelved out of the way. I've lived my life behind the emergency glass. I just want to feel loved. I want to feel important. I want someone to be giddy because they get to see me again. Someone asked me how I know I don't make people feel like this. How do I know it isn't happening. I couldn't give her a straight answer. Now I can. You know. You know when you mean something to someone. You know when you are important to someone. You can tell by the way they talk to you, the way they talk about you. If they talk about you. I've never made anyone feel that happy, because I've never been that important to anyone. Tonight I feel looked over. Tonight I feel worthless. Tonight I feel quiet. Tonight I am alone. Tonight it hurts.

But hey, I still lace up my skates. I still play when it truly matters. I still keep my chin up and try to ignore the thought. And even though I got traded to Columbus who has no freaking chance of making the playoffs this year, I guess I can always hope for next year. Or another trade. Tonight, it doesn't seem likely. It's getting harder and harder to get back on the ice. Or to even rationalize playing.

Sunday, March 17, 2002


> ----- Original Message -----
> From:
> > >
> > > Author: Lt. James McCaffrey, FDNYC
> > >
> > >
> > > As someone involved in and affected by the
> events of September 11th, I
> > have a
> > > request for you, former President Bill Clinton:
> Please do not attend any
> > > event that involves the members of the New York
> City FireDepartment.
> > >
> > > Do not attend any memorial service, concert or
> other gathering.
> And,most
> > > importantly, do not set foot on that hallowed
> site known as Ground Zero.
> > >
> > > In my opinion (and it is one shared by most of
> my FDNY brethren), you
> are
> > the
> > > single individual in this country most
> responsible for the events of
> that
> > > infamous day. Your emasculation of the military
> and our intelligence
> > agencies
> > > contributed significantly to the evil
> perpetrated on so many innocent
> > > Americans.
> > >
> > > Please also forward this request to your spouse,
> and her treacherous
> > coterie
> > > of blame-America-firsters, multiculturalists and
> anti-military elitists.
> > >
> > > Also, tell her that you have finally discovered
> your legacy: It sits as
> a
> > > smoldering ruin at Liberty and West Streets.
> > >
> > > Lt. James McCaffrey, FDNY.
> > >
> > > Pass it on please!
> > >
> > > nyfd@gate.net
> > >
> > > www.fdnyfloridaretirees.com

Date: Fri, 15 Mar 2002 19:26:13 -0800 (PST)
From: "Joseph Parcell"
Subject: Re: Clinton Supporter???
To: "glen terbush"

I just read an email that blamed Bill Clinton and his relaxation on foreign issues for the September 11 attacks on New York City and Washington DC. At the end, it told me to forward it on to all my friends. I opted to forward this instead.

Clinton isn't president anymore. I think it's time for you conservative republicans to get on with your lives now. It's been over a year now, he's gone. I know that there was a bit of trauma endured by all republicans, and it's always best to blame the Clintons for it, but they're gone now. It's time to realize you guys have a problem. Post Traumatic Stess or something. Now Bill Clinton is to blame for Sep 11? You guys are really streching it now. I thought the problems with the economy almost a year and a half after the man left office being blamed on Clinton were bad. Now this? Get over it you guys. He's gone, he's old news. He has no effect on anything anymore whatsoever. Move on. Here's a little tidbit you won't hear on Rush, when the oil companies, er I mean the Bushes... when they started out their giant oil legacy, they needed help when they moved operations to the middle east. Guess which family loaned them the money to get all the riches they have come into in the past forty or so years. Give up? It was one of the wealthiest families in the middle east... still don't know? It was the bin Laden family. This was reported in the New York Times, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune... reputable sources, not just some media whore gossip monger propaganda slut Ricki Lake wannabe Rush Limbaugh. Do you know why this isn't the top scandal in the country right now? Because we aren't all republicans. The majority of us with half a brain realize that there are bigger fish to fry right now. At this point, who cares if the Bushes paying back their loan to the bin Ladens was actually the money used to fund the WTC attack, it happened, it was a mistake on their part, one that now really doesn't have too much of an effect on the country as a whole, because we can't reverse time, so we as democrats, and the saner half of the country have decided that at this point, we really don't need to be fighting amongst ourselves, and a big public scandal is only going to make things worse. So ask yourselves this... was it really Bill Clinton's fault that the attacks went unsuspected, or was it because the FBI gave up 253 of it's agents to go investigate a blow job when they could've been using their time and our money in a way that could've saves thousands of lives last September...

Forward this on to all your friends....

Date: Sat, 16 Mar 2002 11:19:33 -0800 (PST)
From: "glen terbush" Subject: Re: Clinton Supporter???
To: "Joseph Parcell"

Yes...And the election is also over with and Gore
still lost. Maybe its time for all you GOOD radical
liberal democrat's stop your wining hissie fits and do
whats best for the country instead of blocking every
bill and nomination presented by the President because
you's didn't like the outcome. Its amazing that the
same ethical democrat's that blocked Judge Pickering's
nomination for ethical reasons are the same high
minded, ethical and moral individuals that couldn't
find enough wrong to remove Bill Clinton from office
for committing perjury, lyeing to a grand jury and
congress, submitting false documents in court, lyeing
on TV to the American people, his wife and child with
his "I never had sexual relations...." crock. You
fools don't even know enough to figure out when your
being made a laughing stock of by believing it all.
Good to see like the good little mush minded
liberal you are because you haven't lived enough to
figure it out yet for yourself, you resulted to the
same old same when facts and logic boil your thoughts
down to no more than hogwash you go to the name
calling routine like..." not just some media whore
gossip monger propaganda slut Ricki Lake wannabe Rush
Limbaugh." ahhhhhhh the Liberals would be so proud of
Right...Clinton is gone and bares no blame for
where we are now.....just like the guy who developed
cancer throughout his body the morning he goes to the
cancer doctor. Nothing in his past lead to the cancer
it just happened that day, right?
I don't know how you can learn if your being
taught misinformation...the economy slowed during the
2nd quarter of clintons last year and was on the
decline before the election...but hey lets not confuse
the issue with facts right?
ALL HAIL CLINTON!!!!!!!!! ON your knees before
him!!!!!!! Just act surprised when you end up of a
face full of what Monica got!!!! And tell us all how
nobody warned you.

Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2002 10:28:10 -0800 (PST)
From: "Joseph Parcell"
Subject: Re: Clinton Supporter???
To: "glen terbush"

Yes the election is over. Gore still lost. He won the popular vote, but so what, he lost the electoral vote, and that's the part that you need to win. So he lost. I don't remember arguing that. It's not the first time in history that someone has won the popular vote and lost the election, hopefully it's the last though, because I think we can both agree it's kind of shady to get more votes but lose, but hey, that's the rules, no sarcasm here, Gore lost, fair and square. And to be honest, at this point I'm glad. I truly admire how well Bush has responded to the September 11 attacks, I doubt Gore could've done this well. It'd be nice though if Bush would calm down a little bit though, I mean we're after Osama bin Laden, so let's stop messing with Iraq and China before our little ornry texan friend starts WW3.

And yeah, I resorted to name calling on Rush. It seems that no matter how many times I show you logical facts about how wrong he is, how he gets these ignorant people to call themselves dittoheads and follow him while blindly while ignoring any semblings of truth, how he is a liar and a hypocrite, and how he uses you to sell advertisement time on his idiotic radio show while building you up to believe that you are the smartest people in the country, you never seem to read it, like Rush has installed a fitler in your head to knock out all truth that comes your way. So I resorted to calling him a poo poo face, in hoping that maybe that would come across. Oh well. Someday, and I seriously hope this, when you step out into the real world and start living, you'll see how wrong you are.

Maybe an analogy would help. Do you remember a Jim Jones? He got a lot of people to convinced he was right, and he got them to filter out the truth by making them feel that they were the only smart ones on the planet by listening to him. It's called brainwashing. Anyway, in case you don't remember... all those people who did listen to him? They're dead now. Victims of a mass suicide at Jonestown, convinced they were the right ones until the very end.

Do you remember Adolph Hitler? He was a right wing conservative, just like your buddy Rush. He also brainwashed a bunch of people into thinking he was right and that they were the only smart ones on the planet... I don't need to tell you how that ended.

So hey I love you. Just be careful, ok? If there's ever Limbaugh camp, and you go... please don't drink the Kool-Aid.

I just love it too that you get on my case because I recieve my education from experience, from college professors, from newspapers and books, from those people who are actually there and effected, and from my own perception, and not by buying everything I know from a radical idiot on the radio. Think about that. Really concentrate on that fact. Maybe we can knock out those Rush filters yet.


Wednesday, March 13, 2002

Try to figure out what's wrong in this picture. It's hard to find, look really close.

Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Hey, I'll post some quotes from spiring break too!

"Thank you for calling Babbage's where you can reserve Eternal Darkness for GameCube. This is Joe, how can I help you?" -Me

"You should back your product, you sell the goddamn things. I should be able to take it back if I want to!" -Lady who yelled at me for 20 minutes over her defective PS2 that was way outside our return policy.

"Yeah, sure I guess I can come in now, I'll be there as soon as I can." -Me, after Bambi told me to come in seven hours early to cover her shift while she took her son to the doctor. It may have been less coherent than that, I was on two hours of sleep.

"You'll be back at six? It's only ten, that's like eight hours. Ok.... Wait, you're going to need me to stay late tomorrow too? Fine..." -Me, same day.

"Oh my god it's a blizzard out there." -Anyone who spent spring break in KZoo while everyone else galavanted in warmer climates.

Monday, March 11, 2002

I can't wait until this is over. I can't really understand why it isn't over already. I can't even really understand what it is. All I know is I'm bothered way too easily. It hits way too quickly, and it's something that shouldn't even get to me, but it always does. Anyway, thank you very much Marcy. You really helped a lot. Sorry I scared you. As I said before, and I'm sure you already know, anytime you need anything, you know where I am.

Monday, March 04, 2002

Tonight I got a joke that I only took me about eight years to get. Allow me to explain, and you may learn some new vocabulary.

My favorite show is Mystery Science Theater 3000. It's the show where the main character, Joel Robinson (played by Joel Hodgson) is trapped in space and forced to watch bad movies with his robot friends Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo. Anyway, Hodgson decided to leave the show in 1994, but the writers had a problem. How to write him off the show. They didn't want to kill him. They had a guy to replace him, a character named Mike Nelson (played by Mike Nelson), but they just needed to find a way to get Joel off the ship that they haven't tried in the previous six years of the show. They decided that Joel would find a single occupant escape pod called the "Deus Ex Machina" and use it to escape to Earth. I always thought that was kind of goofy. Like this escape pod was there the entire time and they never saw it before? Sounds like they just threw that in to fix the problem. Never did I know what the actual joke was behind it.

deus ex ma·chi·na Pronunciation Key (ks mäk-n, -nä, mk-n)
1. In Greek and Roman drama, a god lowered by stage machinery to resolve a plot or extricate the protagonist from a difficult situation.
2. An unexpected, artificial, or improbable character, device, or event introduced suddenly in a work of fiction or drama to resolve a situation or untangle a plot.
3. A person or event that provides a sudden and unexpected solution to a difficulty.

Just thought I'd share. One more observation. Puff Daddy looks like he's in a constant state of confusion, like that Jazz guy on Fresh Pricne of Bel-Air. (played by DJ Jazzy Jeff.) Or is it P Diddy now? What a dick.

Saturday, March 02, 2002

I really don't mean to sound insensitive, and I feel like a real jerk right now. See, I got home and there was a message on my machine. It was Michelle. She just said hey really quick. In fact it was a short message. "Hey Joe, it's Michelle. Gimme a call when you get home. Bye." I played this message over and over. She sounded almost a little sad. I wondered what was bugging her. I hope it wasn't something I did. She sounded kind of sad that I wasn't here or something. It's not my fault though, I had to help a friend move out of his apartment and into another one. She could've called my cell, I had it on me. She did say to call her when I got home, but it was almost midnight by then, and I was concerned that it might be too late. So I looked for her number, and I couldn't find it. I looked on my little database of phone numbers, and her number wasn't on it. And that's when the thought came to me.... who the hell is Michelle? I don't know anyone named Michelle. I mean I know a Michelle that dumped me in Jr High, but we haven't talked for about nine years, and I don't have her number. I seriously doubt she has mine. I know a Michelle from Ohio, but that really didn't sound like her. And she called me Joe, not Freak or whatever. She hasn't called me in years either. So, mystery Michelle, I'm sorry I didn't call you back, but for some reason or another I cannot recall who you are. That's terrible. I bet I'm just tired and tomorrow morning I'll remember, because you seem to know me, and you seem to know me well enough that I'd have your phone number. But boy, do I suck I guess. *69 ain't helping. Crap. Sorry Michelle.

Friday, March 01, 2002

I just got back from the OP. As soon as I got there, people were asking who I wrote "The Rookie's Dream" about. Joey Nieuwendyk? Someone guessed Gordie Howe, who never even played for Dallas and isn't in the NHL during the 2002 season. I think people missed the point. The caption says that the whole story is an analogy. It's not about anyone in the NHL. It's not even about a hockey player, well, a professional hockey player anyway. This kid's never even been to Texas.

It's about me.

After reading over it again, even I am impressed at how good of an analogy it is... but that's as much as I'm going to explain it here. I'd be surprised if anyone really understands it except me... and the person to whom I was typing.

By the way, Mike Modano scored with 0.6 seconds left in OT to give Dallas the 4-3 win over Vancouver. The Coyotes lost to the Avs 2-1. Dallas just pulled ahead of Phoenix in the NHL standings. Edmonton lost to stay at 64 points, Vancouver lost to Dallas in OT so they got a point, to get to 65. Phoenix is at 64, and Dallas got up to 65. Tied for the eighth and last spot in the western conference playoffs. Not that it really matters. I'm a Wings fan. What? First place in the central division? What? First place in the western conference? What? First place in the entire NHL? What? By how much? Fifteen points ahead of number 2 Philly? Ninteen ahead of anyone in the west? What? Well ok, how are the Columbus Blue Jackets? Last place? In the entire NHL? 54 points behind Detroit? Well all my Columbus friends, once again, hail hail to Michigan....