JoFish19: I had the most bizarre dream last night.
JoFish19: It was really long too.
jduke1551: bizarre eh?
JoFish19: yeah
JoFish19: wanna hear it?
jduke1551: sure
JoFish19: ok ok ok
JoFish19: so...
JoFish19: I was coming home, and I open the back door and theres all kind of people in my house that I don't know.
JoFish19: so i found my roommate and he says they're having a 2 week long party
JoFish19: I'm like, okay, I'll be in my room.
JoFish19: hes like it's ok if you hang out with us and stuff.
JoFish19: so for some reason I grab a cigarette, and i walk out into the living room, and my grandma is out there.
JoFish19: so i quickly try to hide the cigarette, because I don't want to get into that whole discussion, but it doesn't work.
JoFish19: so she's yelling at me and I go outside to finish the rest of the cigarette, and then Milhouse from the Simpsons shows up, and he tells me he wants to show me something.
jduke1551: hah ha milhouse
JoFish19: and he's a cartoon, just walking amongst real people
JoFish19: so I follow him through this jungle to this little shack place that has a downstairs
JoFish19: and someone starts shooting at us
JoFish19: so we run as fast as we can into this shack, and it turns out this isn't a shack at all, but an entrance to a giant space ship
JoFish19: so we go in to the ship and its huge, and there's a giant metal deck with people standing in long lines, and to the left it looks as if were in a giant stadium, because theres tens of thousands of people in stands watching all of us in line.
JoFish19: and so me and Milhouse separate, and this alien comes up to me.
JoFish19: and he's like "make your choice" and he points to this computer thing
JoFish19: so I look at the computer, because I don't want to let on that we're not supposed to be there.
JoFish19: and it's all these choices about a girl. like height, hair color, breast size, all this stuff. and I look at the front of the line, and there are these androids that are being created based on these choices that the other people get ten minutes alone to boink.
JoFish19: people are boinking androids.
JoFish19: and the big crowd is the press covering this event.
JoFish19: so, I put in all these statistics.
jduke1551: like live android porn?
JoFish19: no like you put in what you want, and the machine comes out with your dream girl, and then when you get to the front of the line, you get to spend ten minutes with an anrdroid in a secluded chamber.
JoFish19: an android of your dream girl.
JoFish19: or guy
JoFish19: so I put in all my stuff and I get to the front of the line, and I'm watching the process. The android starts out looking like a mannequin, and then there's all these flashing lights and noises and then it comes out as the girl.
JoFish19: but I'm watching very closely.
JoFish19: and the chamber during all the flashing and noise quickly rotates and another chamber comes up with a person in it that looks kind of like what you picked.
JoFish19: so you aren't boinking a robot, you're boinking a real person.
JoFish19: and then I realize that these aliens have started some kind of prostitution ring and the girls are all enslaved.
JoFish19: so I step out of line, to the back
JoFish19: and I see this guy named Luis.
JoFish19: He's a french guy, from the Resident Evil game I finished last night.
JoFish19: I tell him what I think is going on. He says that we'll wait till we get back to the front of the line until we make our move.
JoFish19: so we get back up, and ends up like four people ahead of me.
JoFish19: then all of a sudden he wigs out, and he starts ninja kicking people
JoFish19: and he starts fighting all the alien "pimps"
JoFish19: so I join in and we fight them and let the girls go
JoFish19: and we start running away and they start chasing us
JoFish19: and then we find R2-D2
JoFish19: and I turn R2-D2 on while Luis keeps throwing all these aliens over the balcony to their death
JoFish19: Then R2-D2 starts turning on other robots that look like him and they start helping us fight the aliens
JoFish19: R2-D2 then goes to try to shut off the power to the ship, because it's taking off. and Luis and I run some more until we split up and I find a way to get on top of the ship
JoFish19: and it's a star destroyer from star wars, and there's like three more out there, and they're taking off too
JoFish19: they're jumping to light speed, and ours is the only one left.
JoFish19: and it starts to jump, and i'm about to die sitting outside this thing, when all of a sudden the lights flicker and go out.
JoFish19: but then the space ship, which is already in the air, starts to crash.
JoFish19: and it crashes into this big icy river
JoFish19: but it's too large to sink
JoFish19: so I don't go under.
JoFish19: then everyone comes out of the ship, and somehow, I'm an alien too, because I have never been to earth
JoFish19: but I'm really excited to be there
JoFish19: and we establish that we're in St. Louis
JoFish19: and it's snowy
JoFish19: and we start walking around the street, and it was a really nice time.
JoFish19: That's all.
JoFish19: That was my dream.
jduke1551: I'm speechless
JoFish19: it was awesome

What would Jesus do? No, no my dear friends... if you want to model yourself after an even HIGHER power, click here.

Check out the "vs." section.


In other news... what is one thing that you could not live without? If you come up with an idea, help a sister out.

-j

Project! Need your help too!!

I have to write a thesis script by tomorrow, and I can't come up with any ideas. That's not entirely true, I have some ideas, I have a great short story by Marcy to work with, but I've decided I want to do something funny. I had such a great time with Twelve Page Paper, and I love doing comedies. The bigger projects I've done here are all creepy stuff, (Photograph, Rain) and I don't want to have people look at my reel and think I'm only capable of creepiness. I, however, have not been able to come up with something funny. Writer's block. I know I've got something, I just can't get to it.

What I'm asking is for ANY idea, good, bad, or ugly, that I can either use, or take and work from and jump start my own creative process. Who knows, I may have something by the time I finish writing this post. If anyone has any marijuana, smoke a lot of it, then write a comment. The film can only be 15 minutes, so no epic ideas will work.

Anything at all is appreciated. Thanks.

-j

For some reason this reminded me of Jon Kameya. F'n hilarious.

Wow.

I just had the greatest stoned conversation ever!

... only I'm not stoned, and there's no one else around.


I've been staring at this computer all day.

I've got another comment on advertisement. Has anyone else seen this Maxipad commercial, where this woman is standing in the aisle, and then the other woman and the camera crew come running up to her and say, "I know, isn't it weird that I'm coming up to you in this Maxipad aisle?" My thought would be yes.

The next statement: "So do you ever wonder about odor?"

So like, if it wasn't awkward before, it sure as hell is now.

RE4 has taken my soul.

I'm pretty lonely. I don't have any friends in Los Angeles. There's all the other people in class, but everyone just got back from a week long shoot, and we're all kind of sick of each other, and I don't really like hanging out with anyone except Rochelle and Tom. Not that the other people aren't cool. Some of them are, some aren't.

I've got three days off that I'm going to spend writing and editing, playing videogames and watching TV. I feel like such a loser. If Curtis were here we'd do something fun. I just wish I had people who I could call up or that would call me and we'd hang out or something. Rochelle and Tom do that sometimes, but I miss the people in Kalamazoo. I miss my old friends.

I wish I had something fun to do. I wish I had money to spare so that I could do something fun. I'm in Los Angeles. I'm in Hollywood. There's tons of stuff out there, there are tons of people. I just don't know where to go. I don't want to go to clubs or big parties. I don't want to go to bars, because I go alone and I just sit there and don't meet anyone, and I just feel more alone. Like the guy in the Nighthawks painting.

I've got too much to do to have a social life. Maybe I'll call Tom and Rochelle this weekend and we'll go to Citywalk. Maybe I'll just sit here all weekend at this computer.

-jp

Eowyn, I'm very interested to see what you get.

Peace out.


Kip Dynamite(Please rate my quiz)

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Chapter Seven: Be It Ever So Humble...

Now available for download at The Coughing Dog Pictures.

The final chapter in the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road series is finished. My promise of it being smaller was fulfilled. My promise of it being A LOT smaller sadly was not. It's under 8 minutes and about 36Mb. I'm sorry if the stats don't come across at the end. I was going to redo it, but as I'm typing this it's a little after 3am, and I need to sleep. Just know we drove a friggin' lot.

Let me know what you think, leave a comment.

Hi Vicki, it's Mike again....

Okay, I just saw this Mastercard commercial where some guy is standing outside of a club talking on his cell phone. He says his name is Mike, and he's leaving a message for Vicki. He describes to her how much fun he had meeting her, and just as he's about to leave his phone number, the machine cuts him off. He calls back and apologizes for the fact that he's calling again, and it's two thirty in the morning... and then the commercial ends.

Now can plagarism be so diliberate that it's actually a tribute? Because it in no way mentions that the sequence was ripped off from "Swingers." For those of you who haven't seen this awesome film, see it. The only difference between that scene and the commercial was the location. The names were the same, the time was the same, the words were the same.

Lame my friends, Lame.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Chapter Six: Leaving Las Vegas

Now available for download at The Coughing Dog Pictures.

It's a bigger one, at a whopping ten minutes and just over 50Mb. I promise that the last episode "Be It Ever So Humble..." will be a lot smaller. But for now, journey with Joe and Jon as they retell the story of what happened that fateful day in Nevada.

Also, if there is enough space, my semester final Rain will be up in the next few weeks. I'll probably have to start taking down the old videos soon, so if you want 'em, get 'em now.

Let me know what you think, leave a comment.

This is me. Younger.

A long time ago a right winger got upset at me for saying I was "dating a crackwhore." In truth, I was dating Jackie, and she was at the time, the only woman to post on the "Three Pimps and a Crackwhore" page. He made sure to tell me that "words mean something" and that I should think about everyone who will hear it and how they will take it.

I wonder if he still feels that way now.


Bush Admits Misgivings About Famed Phrases

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush says he now sees that tough talk can have an ``unintended consequence.'' During a round-table interview with reporters from 14 newspapers, the president, who not long ago declined to identify any mistakes he'd made during his first term, expressed misgivings for two of his most famous expressions: ``Bring 'em on,'' in reference to Iraqis attacking U.S. troops, and his vow to get Osama bin Laden ``dead or alive.'' ``Sometimes, words have consequences you don't intend them to mean,'' Bush said Thursday. ``'Bring 'em on' is the classic example, when I was really trying to rally the troops and make it clear to them that I fully understood, you know, what a great job they were doing. And those words had an unintended consequence. It kind of, some interpreted it to be defiance in the face of danger. That certainly wasn't the case.'' On July 2, 2003, two months after he had declared an end to major combat in Iraq, Bush promised U.S. forces would stay until the creation of a free government there. To those who would attack U.S. forces in an attempt to deter that mission, Bush said, ``My answer is, Bring 'em on.''
In the week after the Sept. 11 attacks, Bush was asked if he wanted bin Laden, the terrorist leader blamed for the attacks, dead.
``I want justice,'' Bush said. ``And there's an old poster out West, that I recall, that said, 'Wanted, Dead or Alive.'''
Recalling that remark, Bush told the reporters: ``I can remember getting back to the White House, and Laura said, 'Why did you do that for?' I said, 'Well, it was just an expression that came out. I didn't rehearse it.'
``I don't know if you'd call it a regret, but it certainly is a lesson that a president must be mindful of, that the words that you sometimes say. ... I speak plainly sometimes, but you've got to be mindful of the consequences of the words. So put that down. I don't know if you'd call that a confession, a regret, something.''
During his second debate last year with presidential challenger Sen. John Kerry, Bush was asked to name three instances in which he had made a wrong decision. At the time he declined to identify any specific mistakes.
Reporters at Thursday's round-table also asked Bush about the high price tag for his second inaugural celebration and suggestions the $40 million gala, which is being paid for by private donations - much of it coming from lobbyists and corporations - be scaled down.
``The inauguration is a great festival of democracy,'' he said. ``People are going to come from all over the country who are celebrating democracy and celebrating my victory, and I'm glad to celebrate with them.''
The newspapers participating in the round-table interview were the Detroit Free Press, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, The (Portland) Oregonian, the (Little Rock) Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, The Miami Herald, The Kansas City (Mo.) Star, The (Phoenix) Arizona Republic, the Portland (Maine) Press Herald, The Hartford (Conn.) Courant, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, The (Columbia, S.C.) State, The Philadelphia Inquirer, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel and the St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer-Press.

Hey everyone... In case you missed it because of the conservative stranglehold on the U.S. Media, I thought I'd share this. Remember how much press the "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" presidential lie got? See how much this one gets.


U.S. Ends Fruitless Iraq Weapons Hunt

WASHINGTON (AP) - The search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq has quietly concluded without any evidence of the banned weapons that President Bush cited as justification for going to war, the White House said Wednesday. Democrats said Bush owes the country an explanation of why he was so wrong. The Iraq Survey Group, made up of some 1,200 military and intelligence specialists and support staff, spent nearly two years searching military installations, factories and laboratories whose equipment and products might be converted quickly to making weapons. White House press secretary Scott McClellan said there no longer is an active search for weapons and the administration does not hold out hopes that any weapons will be found. ``There may be a couple, a few people, that are focused on that'' but that it has largely concluded, he said.
``If they have any reports of (weapons of mass destruction) obviously they'll continue to follow up on those reports,'' McClellan said. ``A lot of their mission is focused elsewhere now.''
House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi of California said Bush should explain what happened.
``Now that the search is finished, President Bush needs to explain to the American people why he was so wrong, for so long, about the reasons for war,'' she said.
``After a war that has consumed nearly two years and millions of dollars, and a war that has cost thousands of lives, no weapons of mass destruction have been found, nor has any evidence been uncovered that such weapons were moved to another country,'' Pelosi said in a written statement. ``Not only was there not an imminent threat to the United States, the threat described in such alarmist tones by President Bush and the most senior members of his administration did not exist at all.''
Chief U.S. weapons hunter Charles Duelfer is to deliver his final report on the search next month. ``It's not going to fundamentally alter the findings of his earlier report,'' McClellan said, referring to preliminary findings from last September. Duelfer reported then that Saddam Hussein not only had no weapons of mass destruction and had not made any since 1991, but that he had no capability of making any either. Bush unapologetically defended his decision to invade Iraq.
``Nothing's changed in terms of his views when it comes to Iraq, what he has previously stated and what you have previously heard,'' McClellan said. ``The president knows that by advancing freedom in a dangerous region we are making the world a safer place.''
Bush has appointed a panel to investigate why the intelligence about Iraq's weapons was wrong.
McClellan said the Iraq experience would not make Bush hesitant to raise alarms when he deems it necessary.
``But we're also going to continue taking steps to make sure that that intelligence is the best possible,'' he said.
``Our friends and allies had the same intelligence that we had when it came to Saddam Hussein,'' McClellan said. ``And now we need to continue to move forward to find out what went wrong and to correct those flaws.''
At the State Department, spokesman Richard Boucher said Wednesday about 120 Iraqi scientists who had been working in weapons programs were being paid by the U.S. government to work in other fields.

"First comes love then comes pain. Let the games begin..."

Good luck. There are 81 riddles. I'm on #7. Each picture is numbered, the object is simply to get to the next screen.

Éowyn Mishawn Alixopulos-Blucher McGuinn...

...is easily becoming one of my favorite people that I've never met. Her and Gwen Stefani. She's the one leaving all the Napoleon Dynamite quotes on my site, and on her own.

In other news, I want an office. Not like in my home, but a place to go. (as in "I'm going to the office, I won't be back until late.") But see, not like an office where someone comes in and makes me give back the red stapler and complains about me not putting the new cover sheet on my TPS report even though I got that memo. I want a production office. One that I run. This stems from doing a casting session in an actual office today. I kept thinking how cool it would be to have my own office, and have a secretary greeting all the people coming in for the casting, having a break room, and like an editing workstation, a sound booth, an art department, the financial and legal office... and I run it all. That would be bad ass.

There's this building outside of Grandville that used to be a boys and girls club called UCAB. (Krissy, it's where we had my "surprise" going away party in 8th grade.) That club fell through, and it soon turned into a teen dance club called "The Underground." Soon thereafter that fell through as well. I thought to myself that that would be the perfect building in which to create a production office. It's spacious, it's got an office section, a front desk/reception area, there's a board/meeting room, enough space to put up editing stations and an art department upstairs, enough room to build a recording studio downstairs for ADR and foley, the actual prophouse could also fit downstairs, and if not the recording studio could be upstairs, and there's a huge freakin' gym that could easily be converted into either a work area for an art departement (if we had anything requiring an art department that needed that much space) or a medium sized soundstage to build some sort of set or blue/green screen sets. Plus there's a nice deck if I remember correctly, and a large freshwater pond, all good for chilling out. There's plenty of parking, it's a remote place where we wouldn't be bothered for being noisy... It would be absolutely perfect.

I wonder what is there now.

So little to do, so much time. Strike that, reverse it.

I've got a ton of planning yet to do for my semester final. I also need to do laundry. A lot of laundry. I can't seem to get started.

I think it's just one of those days.

I'm not really distracted, I'm just in one of those moods. I don't feel like doing anything at all. Nothing sounds fun, nothing seems important. I hate this mood.

Ugh. Even writing this blog sucks. This is probably the worst blog ever made.

Back in the 818.

Well, I'm here in Los Angeles again. I've been kind of dreading writing this post, as I'm sure it will get a little long. Maybe not.

It was a good Christmas break. I got to see everyone again. Like really, everyone. It was really nice seeing the family again. It'll probably be a while before that happens again. I got the 3rd season of 24 (which I already watched all of) the extended Return of the King (which I watched last night) Napoleon Dynamite (which I've watched four times) and two awesome Santa Claus movies.

Napoleon Dynamite is a movie that people absolutely love or completely hate. Most people I know love it.

I got a ride with Jamie Flynn across the state to Kalaamzoo, and hung out with everyone from back home. Jason, Jamie, Charlie, Brill, Laura, Yerty, Lola, Rob, John, Adam, Marcy, Joe D., Heather, Ryan, Jen, Jeff, Cory, Jon, Jackie, Paul, Jes, Axel.... what a time.

Joe D. and Heather are engaged.

Laura and Yerty are engaged.

We all sang "Summer Loving" at the kareoke bowling alley arcade bumper car laser tag bar. I watched a really bad kung fu movie that we couldn't even see. I lost $5 in a poker game to a nut flush. I got to play GTA: San Andreas. We went to a restaurant that boasted "Fine Dining and Live Hockey from 7pm on." Only in Michigan.

I got to sit between two big sleeping guys on a tiny plane back to LA who took both arm rests. I got to ride the train from KZoo to Port Huron.

It was a great time. It was warm too, not too significantly colder than it is here right now. It warmed up on New Years Eve to around 50.

Ok, I'm going for now, I'll probably be back soon.