Tee hee hee

Yerty drew boobies.

Hello everyone. What's new here?

Erin gets back from her very much deserved sunny Florida vacation tomorrow. As lame as it is that she has to go back to Richmond Indiana, I'm looking forward to her coming home so I can go visit her this weekend.

In the last two days, I've been having these anxiety tremors I'll call them. I'll be sitting still doing nothing special, then all of a sudden I feel slight panic and nervousness, and then I feel my heart rate speed up and I start breathing heavier. I think I know what started it, or what's causing it, but I don't know. It's almost like I had too much caffiene.

I'm waiting for some good news. I'm planning a trip to Denver this June (1-6) and I'm waiting to hear if my PTO for it has been approved or not. I hope it doesn't take too long for the decision, because the round trip flight is very cheap right now.

Also, my computer may have re-fried itself. One of the drives I have is bad, and has crapped out again. Luckily there wasn't much on it. Nothing at all important.

I'm going to have to drop off the machine to John to see if he can fix these issues I've got. Also, I'm trying to hook up the second monitor I got from Wade in California, and I've had conflicting reports on the possibility of it. Jon K says it's as easy as hooking up another PCI ATI video card. John A (who built the PC) says it'll be more complicated if not super expensive.

We shall see.

Lost night tonight. Sun is pregnant. Carla is pregnant on Scrubs, which I've really started to like. Really cool show. Dr. Cox is my favorite character. I love his little monologues, like:

"Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh, I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartels & James and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now."

or

"You'd better go ahead and enjoy this while you can, Bob, because if your evil genie goes ahead and grants your wish and I'm gone forever, then the only one you're going to be able to contend with around here is yourself. And when you really get to know that person, oh, dear God, you'll scream so loud that Satan will want to tear up that contract he made with you at birth just so he can get some sleep."

Anyway, almost time to head over. See ya.

-j

This Blog has gotten dusty.....

It appears I've been severely slacking on this site. Even as I sit here though, I really can't think of anything to say.

How lame is this?

-j

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

It looks like a few of my posts have been deleted for some reason. I know I had a song that was stuck in my head posted up here. Maybe I'm just not writing as much as I used to.

I still have writers block. Actually I'm sure that's not true. I just haven't tried to write anything in the last few months. I'm doing my best to hold on to the writer/director side of me right now, but just as I thought I would, I'm looking at myself as an employee of Solectron working at a Verizon Wireless. I knew it would happen. I'm trying to balance it all out, but after a long day of dealing with stupid people who can't fathom driving from here to grandmothers cottage without their cell phone (just like we all used to 5-7 years ago), I just feel like turning off when I get home to my little crammed bedroom.

I was really good at this out in Los Angeles, which seems like a whole other lifetime now. I was good at it because it was all I had to worry about. I could focus on it. Now I'm focused on why certain types of MP3's won't show up on the transflash card to a Samsung a950.

This isn't a pity me post. Everybody has their other things to worry about while they pursue what it is they want. I just hate the feeling I'm getting that cell phones are all I think about anymore. I'm back in Kalamazoo, it feels like I never left. Like I never stepped out to pursue this dream of mine. People ask what I do, I tell them I fix cell phones. This is supposed to be a steady job so I can make some money to pay off the debts I incurred while in Los Angeles, and to keep my head above water. Instead, it's taken over. Now when I think about shooting a movie, I wonder what the point is, because I'm sure I'll have to work that day.

The point is I'm losing site of my goals. I'm forgetting who I am. I'm settling into this miserable life I never wanted. I just don't know what else to do.


Life isn't all miserable. In fact certain aspects of it are the best that they've ever been.

I haven't said this yet on here, but hell, everyone who reads this already knows. I'm very in love. I've got a girlfriend now. A beautiful, wonderful, sweet, smart woman named Erin. A girl I met in high school, my best friend for ten years, a girl I've been in love with for quite a while, and that I'm still very much in love with today. I don't want to be quiet about it anymore, I want to tell everyone. So I guess now it's officially out of the bag. I am completely in love with Erin.

Secret over. :)

That feels really good. Really really good.

I love you Schmoo. Very much. You're my best friend soulmate.



It's now 10:55am. I have to be at work in a half hour.

-j