I'm at NYFA. I have no internet at the house until Oct. 1st at least, so there will be no updates here until at least then. Sorry dear readers.

Sorry,
jgp

Who sent me the "Celebriduck?" I love it!

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner,
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The City of Angels
Lonely as I am, together we cry.

Bill O'Reilly

Today I was again watching Fox News, and I was checking out The O'Reilly Factor. For those who don't know, Bill has been a lot like Sean Hannity, the guy I was talking about before who never lets you finish a sentence if it may be damaging. These guys are all typically right-wing, usually to the point of absurdity. Today Bill said something that really surprised me.

"I don't see any difference in the Bush-Haters and the Kerry or Clinton Haters."

I was shocked. I wondered if it was something I dreamed or hallucinated, but no, he actually said it. He tore down the Bush Haters, and the Kerry/Clinton Haters. He attacked right wing radio jockeys saying they had gone too far.

If I had a cookie, Bill, I'd give it to you. This is my acknowledgement of your good deed.

Once upon a time there was a guy named OJ Simpson. Simpson was accused of murdering his wife and her lover in their home. He then went on a slow car chase and was eventually caught and brought to court. The court case lasted for what seemed like forever, until one day, one magical day, when Judge Lance Ito read the verdict. Simpson was found not guilty, despite the overwhelming evidence against him. Matching DNA samples found at the scene, and in Simpson's blood, motive, the whole running from the cops thing, and yet still a jury found him not guilty. A man named Johnny Cochran, who represented Simpson, conviced the jury that an LAPD police officer named Mark Fuhrman was a racist. Soon, the trial became about whether or not a cop was racist, and not whether or not Simpson killed two people. When the prosecution brought up the enormous amount of tangible forensic evidence proving Simpson commited two counts of homicide, including a blood sample that had a 1 out of 6,500,000,000 chance of being anyones but Simpsons, the jury seemed not to understand. (A juror was later quoted as matter of factily saying, "There aren't even 6,500,000,000 people on the planet, so what does that mean?" As anyone with a third grade education could tell you, it means it's statistically impossible for OJ to be innocent.) OJ was set free, much to the utter amazement of just about everyone in the country. We all couldn't imagine how people without the power to understand very basic information could be allowed to have the power to make such a huge decision.

Today, you'd be astounded to find out how many people think that the hi-jackers on Sept 11, 2001, were Iraqi's, or that the soldiers we're fighting in Iraq are al Qaeda. You'd be amazed at how many people think Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein were best friends, or the Chechen terrorists in Russia were al Queda. You'd be shocked to find out how many people believe that the best way to prevent terrorism is to go out and blow things up and make as many new enemies as possible. You'd be surprised to see how many people swallow every fear producing tidbit, and thrive in hatred. They're all voting for Bush.

So I guess we haven't really come that far.

Jackie, to add to your point, my uncle recently told me that he wishes we would have to watch the 9/11 footage every day, so that we wouldn't forget, and so that we'd be sure to kill everyone involved. In George Orwell's "1984" there is what is called the Two Minutes Hate. In it, the citizens of Oceania, sit for two minutes looking at a man called Goldstein, the enemy of the state, and soak in their own bitter anger.

We will never forget, but we must move on. The victims that day have been, are, and will always be missed. Hate is not a virtue. So to all the small town conservtives insisting we "kill em all," I ask, what would Jesus do?

Down with Big Brother.

jgp

I'll never have a hard time telling you I love you, because we do only get a blink of an eye on this earth, lengthened or shortened by fate or fortune, and I would never want to live with the regret of not letting you know.

It's the heart that matters more.

-JGP-

Oh my god, you guys... you have got to see this. I love the "the date usually falls apart once I drop the "R" word." Duh, dude... duh.

Well it's September 11 again. I saw something last night on Fox News, which I'm starting to become addicted to simply because it's so distasteful and unfair and unbalanced that it actually gets my blood going a little bit. It's like the Weekly World News of politics. In all of its right wing agenda politics it really makes a case not necessarily for democrats, but against conservatives, at least to anyone with enough intellegence to actually think about it. It's neat because if you watchi it for long enough, you realize that these people don't have thoughts of their own, they just say whatever is best for their party.

For example, last night they were talking about these documents that have come up, brought to the light by CBS, saying how George W. Bush sluffed off his duty in the Texas national guard. They interviewed the guy who signed off on these papers kid (yes, not the guy, his kid, the guy may have been dead) and asked him if he thought the documents were authentic. He said the signature looked like his fathers, but he couldn't tell, and that he remembers talking to his father once (once!) about GWB and that he said his father liked the kid. Based on that alone they think hte documents are complete trash. Then they get the democrat on and ask him his opinion, and any time the guy starts to make a point, strategically Sean Hannity interrupts him and starts calling him names or resorts to some childish argumentive technique. He was moments from breaking out the famous "I-Know-You-Are-But-What-Am-I" manuever, when a second republican piped in, and basically talked over the democrat in what was the most biased and pathetic piece of unprofessional journalism I have ever seen. Here's the contradictory hypocritical doublespeak part. Sean Hannity then asks the republican if he feels that the democrats should apologize for going to press with this information that was speculation and not in anyway authenticated to try to stir public opinion if the information turned out to be false, to which he says "of course they should, it's the only decent thing to do." Allow me to repeat that in bold lettering as it's own paragraph.

Sean Hannity then asks the republican if he feels that the democrats should apologize for going to press with this information that was speculation and not in anyway authenticated to try to stir public opinion if the information turned out to be false, to which he says "of course they should, it's the only decent thing to do."

Of course the democrat on the program doesn't pick up on this, because I think they screen out the smart ones so that Sean Hannity can win the arguements, but the first thought through my head was, "Has George Bush apologized for saying there were WMD's in Iraq?"

These people don't believe anything. They don't believe that people should apologize for relaying false information unless they're Michael Moore, or a democrat. They don't think it's a big deal if a president used to do drugs unless it's Bill Clinton. They think it's not a big deal if someone skips out on Vietnam, unless it was Bill Clinton. Make up your mind and have a backbone.

Me? I don't care that Bush didn't go to Vietnam, I don't care that Clinton didn't go to Vietnam, because I'm not going to Iraq. I don't care that they've done drugs, because who hasn't? Well, I take that back, I've never snorted cocaine. I don't think I know anyone who has, because that's a little more hardcore compared to marijuana, which I think about half the people I know have at least tried. But all this stuff tey tried to say about Clinton to make him looks bad, Bush has done worse, and they're cool with it, which is why it's a blast to argue with most conservatives. You can get them to argue against themselves in a manner of minutes. The problem is, they somehow don't see it. I've argued with my uncle time and time again, proving him wrong here, getting him to contradict himself there, and he always seems to think he wins the battles. Every now and then I meet up with a conservative person who really knows their stuff, and still functions within reality and logic. Those people are awesome, but few. Nick Cain for example is someone who I really like talking to, becasue we can debate, not argue. He won't take it personally if I say the 2nd amendment is outdated. He won't look at me as if I just kicked his mother down a flight of stairs like some people I know. Moreso, his opinions are not just repeated and regurgitated talking points used for republican press conferences.

I don't know. This blog has become political, religious, or about Kevin Smith. I'd love to get away from it and just talk about meaningless stuff again, but it's hard because this is the stuff I feel I have to say. Especially right now seeing as it's what is going on in the country.

Oh well, I'm ordering a pizza.

jgp

Jersey Girl.

Sorry for all the Kevin Smith themed posts lately, but I just watched Jersey Girl for the second time. I remember seeing it and even posting about it the first time, saying it was kind of a predictible family movie, and that it was near the, if not the bottom of my list of favorite Kevin Smith movies. (which isn't that bad, considering I love Kevin Smith movies.)

Upon the second viewing of this film, I retract my previous statement. I absolutely love this film. I don't know what it was that changed my mind, or that made me consider it differently. I mean yes, it's predictible and a family movie, but honestly, in my opinion, it's really good. It's a sweet movie that is just a sweet movie. No earth shattering dialogue that makes you look at life in a way you never had, no big Hollywood twist ending, no dick and fart jokes, just a simple sweet movie. Apart form the PG-13 rating, I'd say it's right on par with Chasing Amy.

That's all.

jgp

Humorous.

*UPDATED





Ok, so here's how this all went. We got to the Secret Stash at about 3pm. The line is around the block. Apparently people had been there since 5am, which makes no sense, as they ended up having to wait longer than everyone else seeing as the place opened at 5pm. I went with my roommate Curtis. Immediately we're in line next to "fanboy." Fanboy has apparently been to every premiere and met every famous person, ever. Right away he unloads his backpack and shows us everything. This became annoying instantaneously. He shows us all his premiere ticket stubs, which consist of "Collateral" and "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle." I stopped paying attention soon thereafter. Luckily, our friend John was in line ahead of us. We stepped up about a half hour in line and left Fanboy to annoy those poor sould around him.

At about 6:30pm we meet Shady Girl. Shady Girl USED to weigh 260 pounds. Now she's pushing 105. She had to have her lower intestines removed for some surgery, and lost a lot of weight. Shady Girl tells us she would like to exchange certain "favors" to reach the front of the line. Then her phone rings, and it's her husband. Her husband is in the military, but it's unclear if she is getting an autograph for him or for the person she's "meeting in a bed in Santa Monica."

Around 9:30, I meet Blonde Girl. Blonde Girl is actually really cute, and after I smile at her, she initiates small talk with me. We talk about the length of the line and how she didn't expect there to be this many people. Blonde Girl looks a little older than me, and I notice she's drinking a beer on the street. At this point which is about thirty seconds into our conversation, I realize Blonde Girl looks a little familiar as well. I then realized I was talking to Jen Schwalbach, Kevin Smith's wife, and she was really cool. She had dyed her hair blonde, so I didn't realize it was her, I've only seen her with dark hair.

At 9:45 we got inside, and the Secret Stash was really cool. Tons of comics and View Askew memorabilia. The Bluntman and Chronic outfits from JSBSB, Bartleby's angel wings and chestplate from Dogma, the Daredevil costume (the actual one, not the one from JSBSB), the Golgothan, tons of stuff. I got the Clerks X DVD and a Clerks movie poster, as everyone who was signing things was in Clerks. Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, and Marilyn Ghogliotti. They were all really cool too, they all let me take pictures with them, they seemed in really good spirits despite signing autographs for five hours at that point, and they all thanked us for waiting in line to see them. On the poster they all wrote something besides their names too, instead of just signing it and passing it on. I was the last one that Jeff Anderson signed, so next to his name he wrote "You Win."

I think one of the coolest parts of the night though was that I gave Kevin a copy of Twelve Page Paper, which he graciously thanked me for. Whether he watches it or not, I can now say Kevin Smith owns a copy of my work.



The other shot I got of this he was looking at me and looked slightly more enthusiastic. This one was taken by Curtis, and it was digital so it was easily uploaded, I should have the other one up here tomorrow. It's darker though, my flash didn't work, but I'll see what I can do to lighten it up.

So anyway, that was my evening with Kevin Smith. I have the poster framed now, it looks really cool.

What a day.

-jgp

I'm going to meet Kevin Smith today. I'm pretty pumped.

An educational film by Don Hertzfeldt.


jaykay :)

Television

So, living in southern california, I get to check out a lot of new cultures. I see new things all the time. Nothing I think is more entertaining than spanish television, and late night LATV. There are about six or seven spanish tv channels, and at any given time, one of them has el luchadore wrestling. You guys know me, I still dig WWE wrestling. This stuff is nuts though, even more funny because I have no idea what is going on. Then there are the spanish soap operas which are always wonderful. Same cheesy camera angles, terrible acting and dramatic music, but now I don't know what they are saying. I think it makes them better. There's "Laura" which is the mexican equivilant of Jerry Springer. Only, when there's a fight, the bouncers don't hold back the fighters, they hold one of them down while the others beat the holy hell out of them. Last night on LATV, I saw an infomercial for "Chick Fights." They set up a boxing ring in someone's back yard, and they get two girls into a bare knuckle boxing match. They've got the dude talking over the commercial like, "This is the most badass fighting you'll ever see... chicks with an axe to grind... watch them tear each other apart." Then they showed the fight. Ok, this isn't a sexist thing, because I've seen women fighters who completely and consistantly kick ass. These girls were all in glorified slap fights. You know, the one where the punch or slap starts from the elbow or the wrist while the face is in full retracted position, and the slaps just keep coming, occasionally hitting something. Then of course there's the mandatory shirt pulling exposing one or more breasts. In the montauge scenes of the informercial they show a few good shots, a couple good kicks and what not, but then they showed an entire fight and it was pathetic.

Fox News is still patting its own back for being the highest rated channel covering the RNC. Take into account it's the most conservatively skewed channel there is, and it was the REPUBLICAN convention.... It's not rocket science. I'm watching it and amidst a insane hurricane in Florida, a terrible school hostage crisis in Russia, the RNC itself, Former President Clinton's hospitalization, the shutting down of LAX, the election, the dude gets up and says, "I think there is something REALLY important we need to talk about and that is the ratings for Fox News during the RNC three nights ago..." Assclown.

Really this Russian school incident makes Columbine look like nothing. How many people died in Columbine, 11? 340 people died in Russia, 700 some injured. I'm not saying Columbine wasn't horrible, but that the US as a whole really has no clue or seems overly apathetic as to what happens in the rest of the world. (My uncle would point this out as hypocritical as he believes we went to Iraq to liberate Iraqi's, and the fact that I think the war was a bad idea, must mean I don't care about what happens in the rest of the world. I don't really need to explain this, do I?) Bush has spoken out about how terrorism is still really bad citing this as an example, and people are simply associating this with al Qaeda. Speculation is this was a Chechen attack. The south of Russia is a crazy war zone with people who want to break away from Russia. But hey, maybe he can exploit another tragedy to try to keep himself in office.

Whatever. I'm going to go eat a pop tart.

Well, that was stupid. My 8am phone call didn't even really matter.

Ya know, people fascinate me. I don't buy into stereotypes describing people I don't know, but it's always funny when you find someone who you thought might fit into that group or this group, and it turns out they do. Like it's always funny when you meet the boneheaded jock named Dirk, or the spiteful full of herself art student who writes bad poetry and feels that prejudice is awful, but automatically hates jocks named Dirk. Or the flamingly gay gay man. Or the NASCAR, monster truck, Jerry Springer, confederate flag waving, mullet wearing southerner. Or like the dark rim glasses wearing, spiky haired, latte sipping, "you just don't understand my vision" emo looking, sweater wearing film student.

Just a thought.

I need to do something productive this weekend, or I'm just going to wither and die in a steaming heap of futility. I'll figure something out.

Until then, I bid you peace.

I watched Bush speak at the RNC last night. It was a pretty good speech. Even all the commentators thought so. Then all the cable news channels went absolutely ape-shit. Afterwards they had Hardball with Chris Matthews. On his show were a panel of experts and... I'm not kidding... Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, who owned the comment of the night, when he said "Why do republicans have such a problem with gays when most of them have poles up their asses?" Larry King had Mo Rocca, who didn't take any of his commentary seriously. He kept lining up these awesome camera angles when they cut to him on the floor. Larry would be like, "Mo, wha do you think?" Cut to the camera sitting on the floor amidst balloons and Mo standing on some stairs literally thirty feet away. At any rate, at midnight eastern, John Kerry gave his rebuttal to the speech and to all of the crap the republicans have been throwing his way. He came back with his usual "I was in Vietnam" thing which is getting pretty old. I mean yeah, it's pretty awesome that Kerry voluenteered for service, and it's chicken shit to skip out on the war like Bush and Cheney did, but honestly I didn't care when Clinton dodged the Vietnam war, I don't care that Bush and Cheney did too. I'll tell you though out of the whole night who relly impressed me, Gideon Yago. The MTV corespondant. The kid looks to be about 25, and he really really knew his stuff. He outdid the other corespondents easily.

Let me explain something. I said Bush's speech was good. It was. I don't believe a word of it, but it was good. Let me tell you why I don't believe a word of it, besides the fact that the Bush administration is the shadiest presidency ever. And I think this is why people don't care. It's always the same thing. Always. The politicians do not respect the American people enough to talk to them on any other level than patronizing. That's fine for a lot of people, but anyone who HAS higher brain functions realizes that they say the samecrap every four years. "I'm going to lower taxes, reform health care, boost the economy, lower poverty, help education, stop AIDS, put more people to work, get American jobs back, make the country safer, give us back our national pride, free ice cream on saturdays, every little girl gets a pony, lower movie ticket prices, no more drugs, unless you like drugs, in which case, more drugs, everyone makes more money, a new car and a new house for everyone, equality now, every baby gets a free crib, no more scariness, from now on all happiness... etc etc." Then they get into office and don't do any of it. We don't buy it anymore. There are keywords and phrases that make people feel good. The more of them you say, the better your poll rating is. The truth is that the more of these phrases you say, the more people forget about the bad phrases your opponent is saying about you. "He voted for higher taxes, for less money for soldiers, for killing every third child a family has, for HMO's, for gay marriage, unless you're gay, then against gay marriage, he voted for slavery, he was a british soldier in the revolutionary war, he doesn't wear boxers OR briefs, he smoked pot, and even though I had a cocaine habit, he LIED about inhaling marijuana." This is stupid.

Here's what they should do. Every four years, we have a reality TV show called "Who Wants to be President?" You get all of the democratic hopefuls and all of the republican hopefuls and all the independants and you throw them in a house. Then, you toss wacky situations at them, like move in the gay neighbors, or the athiest maid. And when they get in fights, see who resolves the fights peacefully, and who decides to resort to violence. Toss in drugs and hookers and see who takes the bait. Then every week, America phones in and votes off one candidate. I mean come on, the number of people who voted for American Idol was staggering. This would get young people to vote, it would let us see the candidates handle situations instead of just telling us what they would do, it would level the playing field so that people with lots of money can't out-campaign people without lots of money, and it would be pretty damn entertaining.

Again, just a thought.

Plus, George, if you wanted to actually do any of that crap you talked about last night, you've had four years. And all you've done is scare the bejesus out of us, wage war on nonthreatening nations, and destroy the economy.

jgp

I'm still up. I shouldn't be. I should be in bed, fast asleep. I feel very tired throughout my entire body. For some reason I'm forcing myself to stay awake. I need to make a phone call at 8am eastern. It's 3am here, so it's 6am eastern right now. I'm not going to make it. It's not really that important. In fact, I could probably just set an alarm for 5am and wake up and call. No biggie.

People who read this and have access, I am the only pimp on the three pimps site. Please do something about this.

goodnight.
jgp

homesick.

I know Gun-Fu.

I just saw this movie called "Equilibrium" that I had never heard of. I described it as The Matrix meets 1984. It was totally badass and sweet.

I did laundry today. Actually, I'm still doing laundry today. Ah, clean clothes.

I drank enough caffeine today to kill a small elephant, so if anyone is up and wants to play some Quake 3 or something, I'll be here.

jgp